BloodSuckers From Outerspace
Year: 1984
Rated:U R
Run Time: 74 minutes
Production Company: One Of Those Corperations
Director: Glenn Coburn
Starring: Laura Ellis, Dennis Letts, Thom Meyer, Pat Paulsen
T & A: One measley pair
Damn: Weirdos

"Oh No, I Can't Take Another Kung Fu Scene"

The first word that comes to mind while viewing this movie is..."Cheap". While it's true they only spent a fraction of twenty dollars on it, they more than make up for that with sheer stupidity. Any movie that actually has the charactors mention the incidental music gets a thumbs up from me for it's supposed balls. Now butt fucking a nun while screaming out the lord's prayer would take considerably more balls.

Ok, Jeff, an amatuer photographer and local newspaper reporter, is called out to an assignment about some dead bodies at a local farm. The local cop tells him he can print basically that " Killer Elements at Large" were there cause of death. We find out from a visit to his uncle's house that his brother ralph has devoted his life to science and works at "research city". His brother is aided in his research by the use of alcohol and drugs. ' Take two, they're small". While driving back home, his dead parents house, he gets a flat tire and beats up his car. A girl trying to get away from her town becoming another houston drives by and offers him a ride and some nitrous oxide. They go back to his house and have sex (off screen dammit).They stop by his uncle's house again only to find they've turned into zombies. The researchers at research city inform us that people are turning into bloodsucking zombies because of an "odorless, colorless, tasteless and invisible" substance which apparently came from outerspace and is very windy. The obligatory hero saves the day by using nitrous oxide and a general drops a bomb on some methodist colony. The movie also has a catchy little theme song.

Dispite the fact that there's only one pair of titties and they're only on for a short time, i did like this movie. It had one decapitation, one limb dismemberment, 4 mostly on screen kills, and 6 off screen kills. The kills were minimal but mostly satisfying. The budget constraints are evident by the many off screen kills, the few on screen ones were generally silly enough to be enjoyable. The make-up was very drug store halloween-ish, like a two year old rick baker. The special effects left you wondering how they did that for all of a half a second. But they managed to carry that off with some of the sillyest dialog ever heard in a movie. "You've saved the earth." "Ah, It was nothing." Ed Wood Jr. would be proud.

It's not a romantic epic such as return of the living dead or a tear jerking chick flick like natural born killers, but it does have a nice date quality to it. It would be perfect for viewing with that special someone right before you pop in " Big Breasted Harlots Suck off Competition 13". It will generally get your pulse up just enough to make the latter be more a fulfilling experience for both of you. Enjoy.

-"Nurse, prepare Dr.Pace's barium enema"

Our Rating System

Astry: "The beautifully choreographed fights sceens make this a must see. The lack of titty does make one need to rent a good porno for viewing afterwards, but the lame dialog and cheap effects do add a special laugh factor in so i do recommend this film based on that. Too bad they didn't ask the free ho magestic and her pals to stop by for some good lezzie action. then it'd get a four skull from me."

Get your sorry Ass back to the Pit, SLAVE