ARCHIVED RUMORS: AUGUST 1998



"Always Remember To Pillage
BEFORE You Burn"





Welcome Back to the Offices of Doctor Octagon! Contained within this dingy little chamber are all of the stories and rumors that we deemed newsworthy in the fateful month of AUGUST, 1998. We sincerely hope you enjoy your visit to the Memory Banks of the Good Doctor. Now don't forget to wipe!






The "House of The Dead" Gives Up Its Secrets

August 29th, 1998


For those of you out there who spend time in a video arcade than you'd care to admit to any member of the opposite sex- you've undoubtedly run across Sega's shoot-em-up pistol game "House of The Dead". It's a 50 cent firefight through corridor after corridor of zombie-filled mayhem... with brains, limbs, and hot gore a flyin'. Basically, good clean American fun. In any case, it seems that Jesse Dylan (one of singer Bob Dylan's sons) has PERSONALLY purchased the rights of the game from SEGA and decided to turn it into a movie. DREAMWORKS has supposedly given the project the green light and production will soon be underway. Combat veteran writer Mark Verheiden (the man behind TIME COP and THE MASK) worked with Jesse on the film's storyline and apparently will write the screenplay for "House of The Dead". However, for those of you who think the game's basic storyline will remain intact- think again. Here's how Herr Jesse has "re-worked" the storyline to his personal liking:

The film focuses around a small college town where all of the most fashionable students just HAPPEN to be zombies (???). In any case- some sort of hideous murder at one of the frenzied zombie "raves" prompts an all out invasion of the "HOUSE OF THE DEAD" by the film's heroic band of misfits.... who are apparently out to kick some zombie ass.

Zombie RAVES? Am I the only one who's saying "What the fuck?" Although this title may sound a bit disappointing... we've got to TRY to keep an open mind. Tons of gore and pointless nudity can salvage just about any plotline in the horror genre... in theory anyway. Perhaps the next monster that deserves to have his rotten head off with a shotgun is... JESSE DYLAN?




"BLADE" Whips Ass At The Box Office / Possible Sequel

August 27th, 1998


Wesley Snipes' undead ass-kicking extravaganza "BLADE" cleaned house at the box office opening weekend. It stole the top spot (and deservedly so) with a take of over 17.1 million dollars. Furthermore, due to BLADE's strong showing... some follow-up projects are being kicked around. New Line Cinema is toying with the idea of expanding the film into the trilogy that "BLADE" writer David S. Goyer originally pitched to the studio execs. Wesley Snipes has also been reported to be very happy with his role as the intrepid Vampire Killer and is interested in pursuing a sequel! New Line television has also expresed some interest in turning the BLADE legacy into a television series. We'll keep you posted on any upcoming info!


Leonardo Di Caprio Turns Down Lead In "American Psycho"!

August 27th, 1998


That's right, the same little fucker who graced more covers of TEEN BEAT than the entire cast of "KIDS INCORPORATED" combined has *officially* turned down the starring role in the twisted film adaptation of "AMERICAN PSYCHO". The film (which was originally going to be directed by Mary Harron... then OLIVER STONE) is based on the ultra-controversial novel of the same name penned by Bret Easton Hills back in 1991. Eliis' novel focused on a main character who was a wall street yuppie by day... and a predatory serial killer by night. Di Caprio was up for the lead (psycho yuppie) role... but supposedly backed out during a test reading with co-star CAMERON DIAZ. So now... with the cast effectively castrated, and the original director (Harron) out on the street due to studio conflicts, the fate of AMERICAN PSYCHO is uncertain at best. Still, the idea that DiCaprio would even consider a role like this (one that would definitely annihilate his "teen heart throb" image) is pretty damn cool.


What's Peter Jackson Up To These Days?!

August 25th, 1998


(Although this news report has little to do with horror films in general- we've had quite a few inquiries as to what the hell Peter Jackson has been up to lately. We sincerely hope this shuts you bastards up!)


New Zealander Peter Jackson, the creative mastermind behind such excellent films as BAD TASTE, DEAD ALIVE, HEAVENLY CREATURES, MEET THE FEEBLES, and yes... (wince) even THE FRIGHTENERS, has been relatively quiet these days. However... his silence was broken today when WARNER BROTHERS (in association with NEW LINE CINEMA) announced that they will be moving forward with their colossal "LORD OF THE RINGS" project. That's right kids, the J.R.R. TOLKEIN "HOBBIT"-type LORD OF THE RINGS. It seems that our pal Peter has been given control of this trilogy of films, starting with (of course) THE HOBBIT. The budget for the three films has been reported at a collective 130 MILLION DOLLARS. Oh well.... although every red-blooded male on the face of the fucking planet would love to see Peter tackle some cinema of REAL SUBSTANCE (i.e. BAD TASTE 2) we all wish him well in his creative exlpoits. Now what was that hobbit's name again? Dildo?




Comic Creator Sues Over "BLADE"!

August 25th, 1998


Our fearless comrade in arms (and slave to Mecha-King Ghidorah) CHRIS over at the excellent STOMP TOKYO website kindly donated this little nugget of joy to us... It seems like someone is getting pissed off over the royalties of the vampire slaughterfest, "BLADE". Check it out!

The Associated Press reported yesterday that Marv Wolfman, comic book writer extraordinaire, has filed suit against MARVEL COMICS, NEW LINE CINEMA, and TIME WARNER for copyright infringement! Apparently, Wolfman created "BLADE" for Marvel Comics back in the days when he was doing freelance work... and apparently, they didn't file the proper copyright papers. So now, in the true spirit of America... Wolfman is suing the shit out of everybody he can for a grand total of...... 35 MIIIIIIILLION DOLLARS!!!! God Bless America! Now go see "BLADE"!




Mutant Sharks Stink Up "DEEP BLUE SEA"!

August 24th, 1998


Since we've had nothing better to do these days in our NEWs department other than flick boogers at each other... we decided to delve into the briny depths and go hunting for some more info on Renny Harlin's MUTANT SHARK movie "DEEP BLUE SEA". Our quest uncovered some new plot info on this flick that sounds absolutely retarded. Check it out!

A team of marine biologists are conducting a series of experiments upon a number of Great White Sharks that involves the implantation of human DNA into their bodies. As a result, the sharks wise up pretty damn fast and decide that they aren't gonna tolerate their lives as scientific guinea pigs any more. As a terrible typhoon ravages the surface (and traps everyone in an underwater research facility), the sharks bust out of their underwater holding pens and begin munching on the scientists and their staff.The sharks reportedly act pretty fucking stupid in "DEEP BLUE SEA": playing possum to bite unsuspecting scientists, leaping 60 feet straight up into the air to grab people off ropes, and actually using their snouts to press buttons on a stove to cook some bastard trying to hide in an oven. Whew. Kinda surprised that SAMUEL L. JACKSON has signed on to star in this turkey? We sure were... LL COOL J has also been signed to work on this flick... but it's uncertain wether he'll be starring as a scientist, a janitor, a rapper... or a rapping janitor. Our personal wish is that he'll star in a big NERF shark suit and eat people.... but oh well. In any case.... this insta-bomb is currently filming of the coast of Mexico, and should sneak into theater early next year.... if not sooner!




"Deep Rising" Released To Video Soon!

August 24th, 1998


Although this is but a small nugget of joy from Doctor Octagon's ass, I thought I'd share it with you nonetheless. America's favorite sea monster flick "DEEP RISING" is teaming up with America's favorite breakfast food "GRANDMA'S GRITS" and will be coming to home video on SEPTEMBER 15th, 1998. Look for it in your grocer's freezer.... or in the commode.


Special Re-Release of EVIL "DEAD"!!!!

August 21st, 1998


A special After School Special shout out goes out to our Kamikaze Death Ninja permanently located behind enemy lines, KAIN. Besides being a unholy master of the Spinning Voodoo Iron Fist technique, KAIN is the webmaster of ASH'S EVIL DEAD PAGE: the definitive source for any and all things dealing with the EVIL DEAD TRILOGY. In any case, here's what pimp master KAIN sent in to us... We hope you find it as enlightening as we all did. Now read. READ DAMN YOU, READ!!!!

"Here is an email I recieved from a person who works at Anchor Bay Entertainment:"

"I visited your site last night and must say, I was quite impressed."

"First, let me introduce myself. My name is Sue Procko and I handle p.r. for Anchor Bay Entertainment. I recently visited the home office last week and was privy to some very exciting news. Not only is ABE releasing Evil Dead onto VHS, they are also offering some extras too! The film has been digitally mastered and will be available for $ 9.99 featuring 4 different jacket designs created from original photos shot during the making of the film. It will also be available as a "collector's edition" which will include the original theatrical trailer and liner notes from Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell!"

"Finally, (and this is ONLY for the TRUE Evil Dead Fan), Anchor Bay Entertainment will be releasing 30,000 individually numbered "Limited Editions" of this masterpiece that will include the theatrical trailer and a 32-page collector's booklet of never-before-published photos of Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell as well as excerpts from Josh Becher's working diary kept during the making of the film. AND THE PACKAGING IS AWESOME! It will all be available at video stores everywhere September 22, 1998."



Interested in contacting KAIN and learning all his hideous secrets? Well why not get off your glatinous ass and E-MAIL him!




"Vampires" Soundtrack Intact

August 19th, 1998


Word from the front lines indicate that we have nothing to worry about: John Carpenter's original score for his upcoming film "VAMPIRES" will remain intact. None of that Smasing Pumpkins or Fiona Apple shit mucking up an awesome horror movie soundtrack. Look for Carpenter's latest to hit theaters just in time for Halloween this year. Release date is October 30th, 1998.


So Where's "Freddy Vs. Jason"?

August 19th, 1998


Well.... Shaolin Renegade factions supposedly cornered Robert Englund on the set of his latest flick "URBAN LEGEND" and confronted him about the now infamous "FREDDY VS. JASON" project that was first announced YEARS ago. According to Englund the film has most recently run into legal problems stemming for the copyrights of both the "Freddy" and "Jason" characters. He went on to say that although the film is currently on hold- he looks forward to commence filming soon with a 1999 theater release. Robert Englund is widely rumored to be an executive producer of "FREDDY VS. JASON".


Stan Winston To Do Monster FX In "Lake Placid"?

August 18th, 1998


Strange rumors are creeping up from the frigid depths of Rolley Lake, British Columbia- the film location of the upcoming Mutant Crocodile Movie "LAKE PLACID". Apparently, legendary creature effects guru STAN WINSTON (whose work includes Predator, Aliens, Pumpkinhead, etc) will be supervising the creature animatronics in this film. Also... Irish actor Brendan Gleeson has been slated to play the role of the sheriff who helps Bill Pullman track down the pissy crocs. "LAKE PLACID" is slated for a 1999 release.


"Urban Legend" To Be Released Soon?

August 12th, 1998


It appears that the Phoenix Pictures slashfest "URBAN LEGEND" so many people wrote off as a canned project many moons ago will finally get its break into theaters this Fall! The film (directed by Jamie Blanks and starring the beautiful Alicia Witt, Jared Leto, Rebecca Gayheart and Robert Englund) focuses on Pendleton College, the scene of a grisly string of murders thirty years ago when an Abnormal Psychology professor went nuts and (literally) aced 6 of his students before committing suicide. These days, however, the students celebrate this "urban legend" of their own by throwing a elaborate costume bash on the anniversary of the murders. But wouldn't you know it? Strange deaths start cropping up on campus... and nubile student Natalie thinks that there's some sort of twisted connection to the 30 year old massacre. Her friends all think she's crazy... but when they start dropping like flies- the hideous truth is revealed! Wow. Classic old school shit here, folks! The original release date was planned on being MUCH later... but very positive reviews from test audiences have bumped this production up to a September 25th, 1998 release date!


The Shocking Truth Behind "StrangeLand"!

August 12th, 1998


For those of us fortunate enough to have grown up in the 80s (reared on a steady diet of MTV and Saturday Morning Cartoons that were worth a shit) TWISTED SISTER and DEE SNIDER were household names. Now after fading into relative obscurity (hosting radio shows these days, I think) Dee Snider is back on the scene with his new horror film entitled "STRANGELAND". The film, both written by and starring Dee Snider (but directed by john Pipelow, focuses on the psychopathic freak dubbed "Captain Howdy", who lures victims via the internet and subjects them to all manner of twisted tribal rituals agaisnt their will! Hmmmm.... O.K. furthermore, the impending release of this film (slated for October of this year) has galvanized the members of the old band TWISTED SISTER. They plan on re-forming and doing the soundtrack work for the film and releasing the "hardcore metal & industrial rock" music on an upcoming album under the Artisan Entertainment/Raucous Releasing label.


Revenge! Murder! Mine Shafts!

August 11th, 1998


The man who wrote the wildly successful "X -FILES" film earlier this year, R.W. Goodwin, has just signed a deal with New Line Cinema to rewrite and direct the upcoming vengeance movie "A SMALL, DARK PLACE". The film focuses on a money hungry couple who purposely trap their young daughter in a mine shaft as a publicity stunt. Movie deals , book deals, and appearances on "The Montel Williams Show" ensue. However, 15 years after the event, the girl (now all grown up) has flashbacks of the horrifying event and returns to the sleepy little mountain village to get bloody revenge on those that exploited her. A classic slasher recipe! But don't hold your breath... production is still a ways off, and "A SMALL, DARK PLACE" will not hit theaters until sometime in 1999.


Possible Soundtrack Change In "Vampires"?

August 7th, 1998


For those of you who didn't know... John Carpenter had composed the entire musical score for his upcoming schlockfest "VAMPIRES". Word round the campfire is that Carpenter's score was incredibly cool: very atmospheric and maddeningly memorable. However- it appears that all of this might be in jeopardy these days as the dreaded Sony executives are rumored to be lining up a "pop-all star" to handle the movie's soundtrack- even though the film debuted in Germany and Montreal with Carpenter's original scoring. Supposedly the signed artists include: The Blood Hound Gang, Fiona Apple (with Erica Chase), Eva Trout, and The Smashing Pumpkins. Now whether the work of these artists will be featured as the actual working soundtrack of the film or be featured on a seperate "music inspired by the film" CD (much like this year's "X-FILES" CD) is anybody's guess... All of us in the horror community can only cross our fingers and pray that this insult to everyone does NOT carry over into the film itself. To wipe out Carpenter's original soundtrack in place of some standard techno-industrial shit would be an absolute crime against nature.


"Phantasm IV: obLIVion" Debuts In Canada!

August 6th, 1998


Toronto's Bloor Cinema, host of the FANT/ASIA film Festival saw the debut of one of the latest (and probably last) installments of a venerable old horror series: PHANTASM. The new film "PHANTASM IV: obLIVion", headed up by director Don Coscarelli and starring everyone's favorite ambulatory freakshow, THE TALL MAN (played, as always, by Angus Scrimm)- PHANTASM IV picks up where the third one left off and....in the tradition of all films Phantasm... makes absolutely no fucking sense. That's not to say that its not a fun little flick to sit down and waste a Tuesday night with. Any film that has little silver balls zipping around and burrowing through people's faces can't be too bad. Right? Well- the making of PHANTASM IV was plagued with a really small budget (less than one million) and unfortunately, it supposedly shows. The infamous silver balls are used very sparingly in this installment (boo!)- and the gore is very minimal for a heavy horror classic. Oh well... although PHANTASM IV will not be showing up in 99.96% of U.S. theaters (unless a miracle occurs) it will be released on video in the very near future. Die hard Phantasm fans should rejoice... but the rest of us out there- catching the remastered version of the 70s original (complete with 4 minutes of extra footage) might be a better option. Expect the remastered original PHANTASM to be out sometime in September!


Giant Crocs Assault "Lake Placid"!

August 5th, 1998


It appears that Hollywood has created a monster. Well, actually, it seems like these days Hollywood is creating a shit load of monsters. HALLOWEEN: H20 director Steve Miner is stepping up to the plate to direct Hollywood's latest foray into monster territory in the upcoming film "Lake Placid". Starring Bill Pullman (Independence Day, Lost Highway, Serpent and the Rainbow) and Bridget Fonda (Point of No Return, Jackie Brown, Army of Darkness) and produced by 20th Century Fox the film concerns a swinging New York paleontologist who travels to upsate Maine to investigate an outburst of mysterious killings. The shit hits the fan when it turns out that a gigantic crocodile is behind all the mayhem. A huge crocodile in upstate Maine. Uhhh... yeah.


John Carpenter's "VAMPIRES" To Be Released Soon!

August 4th, 1998


John "Halloween" Carpenter's latest horror tale, "VAMPIRES" will soon be making its way to domestic theaters! After kicking much ass overseas at the recent Fantasy Film Festival in Germany and up in Canada- it has been announced that "VAMPIRES" will make its U.S. theatrical debut on October 30th, 1998! Mark your calendars, lads! This one promises to be a great one!

Check out our archived JULY rumors/news for more info on this excellent horror project!




Chucky is Back in "Bride of Chucky"!

August 4th, 1998


Ohhhh, quit your bitching! Like you couldn't see this dead horse getting flogged. Never content with letting corpses rot in peace- director Ronny Yu (The Bride With White Hair I & II) has resurrected America's favorite talking doll/serial killer for one more round of bloodsoaked mayhem. CHILD'S PLAY 4: BRIDE OF CHUCKY stars Jennifer Tilly, John Ritter, Katherine Heigl, Nick Stabile, Brad Dourif, and Alexis Arquette and is set to release in domestic theaters on October 16th, 1998.

On a side note: We just saw the theatrical trailer for this flick in front of HALLOWEEN: H20.. and boy, once you see that fuckin' JENNIFER TILLY doll.... you'll be scrambling for enough rope to hang yourself. It looks THAT ANNOYING.




"HELLBOY Project Announced"

August 4th, 1998


The creative mind behind "CRONOS" and "MIMIC", Guillermo del Toro, has recently signed to create a film adaptation of the grim Dark Horse Comic known as "HELLBOY". The story behind behind Hellboy concerns a supernatural detective ( ! ) who is raised from the depths of Hell ( ! ! ) by Nazis during World War II ( ! ! ! ). However, as he is unsatisfied with being employed by facist slime bent on world domination, Hellboy turns on his Nazi overlords and proceeds to ruin their nefarious schemes. Little else is known about this decidedly bizarre project.. and since none of us have ever laid eyes on the actual Dark Horse Comics mentionedearlier, I'm sure we're not doing the storyline any justice. Still- it sounds intriguing at the very least. We'll keep you up to date as news presents itself.




"Morbidity of the Soul" News

August 1st, 1998


Word round the campfire is that Sir Anthony Hopkins has agreed to play America's favorite cannibal, Hannibal Lecter, in the upcoming sequel to "Silence of the Lambs". The film, which is TENTATIVELY called "Morbidity of the Soul" will be directed by Jonathan Demme (again) and shall star both Hopkins and Jodie Foster in a reprisal of her earlier role in "Silence of the Lambs". Hopkins will reportedly be paid over 15 MILLION POUNDS (that's U.K. currency, you sods) for his role... making him the highest paid British actor on Earth. However... you shouldn't hold your breath on this one. Hopkins still has a slew of films he's already committed to before he can work on "Morbidity" ("Meet Joe Black", "Instinct", and "Titus Andronicus") and the book the film will be based on (penned by brilliant novelist Thomas Harris) isn't even finished yet. Still... for those of us who enjoy a good kiante with our livers... "Morbidity of the Soul" sounds intriguing.






DOC OCK WOULD LIKE TO THANK




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