ARCHIVED RUMORS: DECEMBER 1998



"Slippery When Wet"




Got Some News, Rumors, Or Scoops For Doctor Octagon?


You can blame it on the birth of Christ for the lack of horror news for the month of December! Aparently, tidings of comfort and joy just don't mesh well with gruesome screwdriver impalings and cannibal tractor pulls in the minds of most studio execs. Oh well, fuck 'em! Just feel free to sift through the cootie infested ass mound that is DOCTOR OCTAGON's RUMOR MILL of Intense Vaginal Discomfort!






Invasion of the DVDeviants!

December 22nd, 1998


After breaking into a local CIRCUIT CITY last week, our team of renegade chuckwagon runt fuckers managed to torture an extensive list of horror DVD release dates out of their assistant manager. They also managed to hack into the CIRCUIT CITY motherbrain computer and download a list of every dumbass who bought a DIVX for Christmas. These infidels with have their spines crushed by Voltron (right after he has sex with your rollerskate). But that's beside the point... on to the release dates!

DECEMBER 22nd, 1998: Blade, Curse of the Puppet Master, Needful Things

DECEMBER 31st, 1998: A Nightmare on Elm Street (special edition), Dead Ringers (special edition)

JANUARY 5th, 1999: Disturbing Behavior, Leprechaun 2

JANUARY 6th, 1999: Baron Blood, Lisa and the Devil

JANUARY 13th, 1999: EVIL DEAD: Special Edition, Inseminoid

JANUARY 15th, 1999: Psycho 2, Jaws 4: The Revenge

FEBUARY 22nd, 1999: John Carpenter's Vampires

FEBUARY 23rd, 1999: Carnival of Souls (remake), Nosferatu

APRIL 27th, 1999: Halloween 4

APRIL, 1999: Bride of Chucky, Demons, Demons 2, Tenebrae

1999: BRIDE OF CHUCKY, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 6, WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE




BLADE NEWS!

December 22nd, 1998


Passenger 57, also known as WELSEY SNIPES, has just signed on to star as the lead in the upcoming BLADE 2! Very little is known about the project and as of now, no other cast or crew announcements have been made by BLADE creators New Line Cinema. The BLADE project was originally pitched to the studio as a trilogy of vampire hunting films that deal with BLADE hunting down various vampire clans across the globe- each with a completely unique storyline. Although the end of the first BLADE film seemed to hint as this possibility in future films, it's unknown exactly what idea the studios will persue for the sequel.

Also of interest to fans of the Comrade Snipes' ass kicking vampire holocaust is the release of BLADE on DVD today (December 22nd, 1998). The new DVD is jam packed with all kinds of slick ass extras, such as: no less than SIX seperate audio commentaries that contain actors and filmmakers discussing the film itself in place of the sopundtrack, four "featurettes" (whatever the fuck those are), and both widescreen and pan & scan versions of the film. The film also contains the bizarre ALTERNATE ending that was never used for the theatrical release of the film! It's a fucking crazy fight scene where Brad Dourif's vampire character turns into this huge protoplasmic blob! Surprisingly, the BLADE DVD also contains a complete version of the movie script! For less than 20 bucks, this is pretty fucking cool... so if any of you assholes are getting a VD for Christmas, get syphillis... but if any of you are getting a DVD: get BLADE!




More Ugly Action Figures

December 22nd, 1998


For all you jaded little bastards out there who really like the idea of owning a JASON VOORHEES action figure, or a fully poseable LEATHERFACE (complete with chainsaw and bloody slop bucket of body parts), rejoice! Those loveable scamps over at McFARLANE TOYS have responded to overwhelming fan support by announcing a 2nd series of their MOVIE MANIACS line! Joining the ranks of JASON, FREDDY, LEATHERFACE, and the SPECIES aliens are: CHUCKY & HIS BRIDE TIFFANY, NORMAN "PSYCHO" BATES, PUMPKINHEAD, and (regrettably) THE CROW. Word round the campfire that the rights to such figures as MICHAEL MEYERS and HELLRAISER's own PINHEAD are currently being sought- but studio difficulties are slowing things down! Expect these figures to hit stores sometime in First Quarter 1999. Fear my Kung Fu Action Grip, Nootch.




From Hangman to Blood Money

A Look At What "From Dusk Till Dawn" Has Spawned

December 17th, 1998


Our vile, car borrowing, toad licking, red headed step child THE MARQUIS De SADE has returned from the apartment above the garage to bring us a look at the prequel and sequel to the Rodreguez/Tarantino vampire tit-fest "FROM DUSK TILL DAWN":

I was not a fan of From Dusk till Dawn. I thought it was a poor attemptat a horror movie, cause it took so fucking long to get to and then theVampire scenes seemed a lot shorter then they really were.Nevertheless, some fuckers out there who think Tarantino is God (and youfuckers know who you are, and let me just say Tarantino is on loan fromthe true Gods...us here at NoTC and any day now Z-man will let the worldknow about Quentin's Kiddie Porn ring) but you fuckers actually bitchedenough to get not one but TWO follow up movies both due out early nextyear.

'Texas Blood Money' starts us off as a sequel to the 1996 PulpFiction-goes-Goth mess known as 'From Dusk till Dawn' and it may be theonly of the two even worth mentioning. Replacing George Clooney isRobert Patrick as Seth Gecko who has continued his bank robbing dayswith a new crew and a ghostly brother Ritchie as a sidekick. What Sethdoesn't know is that one of his troupe is a Vampire. The only reasonsthis film merits mention is for two aspects. The "true God" of bad movies Bruce Campbell, and the"usetabe-jailbait-but-now-I-have-her-nude-pics-off-the-net" TiffanyAmber-Thiessen. Our Hook-wielding friend of 'I Know...' and 'I StillDon't Care' Muse Watson also has a role. This movie was originallyintended for a straight-to-video release but fan demand turn that to aNationwide Theatrical release...but the December release date gotpost-poned to a March 12th, 1999 appearance. Makes you wonder aboutquality, doesn't it?

'The Hangman's Daughter' is the second film and actually a prequel toFDTD. It centers around a young Mexican farmgirl who becomes Satanica(Salma Hayek's character in FDTD). This movie's only redeeming qualityis Rebecca Gayheart, the quite fuckable Noxema girl. Danny Trejo playsthe ever-important hangman. Though no release date has been confirmed,this one was suppose to hit video shelves the same time 'Texas BloodMoney' hit theaters, but now there is talk that if TBM does well,'Hangman's Daughter' will get a similar theatrical send-off. NeitherTarantino nor Rodriguez (who collaborated on FDTD) have anything to dowith the two spin-offs.

And if you can't get enough of 'From Dusk till Dawn', a documentary'Full Tilt Boogie' hits video shelves as these movies hit...whereverthey are hitting and documents the making of FDTD as well asbehind-the-sceens looks at all three. And if you can't get enouphVampires, keep your eyes open for...well, something else...maybe TomSavini's vampire lesbo romp 'Cold Hearts'(incidentally, Tom Saviniplayed Sex Machine in FDTD)...check out the September Rumor Mill formore info on that film.


The Lowdown On

December 15th, 1998


By now, all of you violent little bastards have heard about this big movie coming out this Christmas called "THE FACULTY". Trailers for the flick are swamping television and radio spots- and there's even some kind of fucking TOMMY HILFIGER commercial about the flick(?) clogging up the boob tube's lineup of quality educational programming. But still, despite all this shit, it seems like very few people actually know what THE FACULTY is all about. With less than 2 weeks before this fucker hits theaters (and your heathen ass goes to see it on Christmas Day with us), it's high time you had this crazy knowledge dropped upon you.

"Like so many schools today, Herrington High has passed its prime. Itswalls are grimy, its textbooks outdated, its teachers burned out. Yet its corridors are packed with the future of America - loners, leaders, hipsters, nerds, brains and jocks. Like teenagers everywhere, they struggle with parents who don't get it, teachers who never had it and hormones that won't quit. But the students at Herrington High face a greater challenge - saving the world from alien domination."

That's right, the kids have to fight off fucking aliens. Their teachers have been infected with some strange form of alien parasite that makes them vicious killers and gives them all kinds of cool ass abilities. It's up to a select group of kids to wise up to their scheme of global conquest and kill every last one of the fuckers!

So what's our stable of high school victims look like? Well, aside from the throngs of screaming testosteroid teenage assholes who are little more than alien chow- we have our six core students: the "perfect" (i.e. naked) HEAD CHEERLEADER, the STAR QUARTERBACK, the SKINNY GEEK, the OUTCAST, the NEW GIRL, and of course- everybody's favorite.... the POT HEAD.

The flick is directed by that same Mexiconvict/Bojangle Badass who directed EL MARIACHI, DESPERADO, and FROM DUSK TIL DAWN: Robert Rodriguez. It's written by the same humanoid responsible for SCREAM, SCREAM 2, and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER- Kevin Williamson. The stars (the kids themselves) are a bunch of no-name young actors who have NEVER been on Party of Five, Dawson's Creek, 7th Heaven, or that fucking nutsack burner Felicity. The vile alien "faculty members" are a bit more recognizable: like the voluptuous Famke Jenssen (DEEP RISING, ROUNDERS, GOLDENEYE) and Salma Hayek (DESPERADO, FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, 54) and the freakshow Robert Patrick (T-1000 from TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY)... but still relatively low-key talent. Not a bad thing since we're looking for two things: serious gore and big ass titties.

So does THE FACULTY deliver the goods as a horror flick- or is it destined to wallow in the shallow shit mire that has claimed such forgettable titles as DISTURBING BEHAVIOR and I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER? Well, the jury is still out. Test screenings have been relatively positive, and the opening scene is supposed to be fucking badass. This flick is rated "R" for graphic violence, gore, profanity, scenes of drug use, and (hell yeah) nudity... so it seems as though there are enough representatives of the four food groups in effect to keep most of us content- although the gore work is supposed to be particularly light in this one. Still, although this one has the potential to completely fuck up and suck fat baboon cock at the Monkey Habitat, we're all remaining optimistic. We aren't exactly expecting much from this entry into the horror community- but who knows? Either way, whether THE FACULTY is a HIT or SHIT, you can expect a rapid-fire review from NIGHT OF THE CREEPS to be unleashed soon after this fat nut gets busted. Keep your eyes peeled!




The Lowdown On RAVENOUS

December 15th, 1998


Long ago, in Godless times, when fat chicks walked the earth like dinosaurs and had sex with ninjas in the sandbox- NIGHT OF THE CREEPS ran a little shit story about an upcoming movie called "RAVENOUS". At the time, all we knew was that a small group of soldiers had to fight off attacks of cannibal freaks while manning a remote military outpost. Well, with the release of the RAVENOUS trailer in theaters this last week, we were able to glean a little bit more about this gore-fest. Here's the scoop:

RAVENOUS is set in the Western United States circa 1840 (!!!). Amidst the carnage of the Mexican-American War, a small group of soldiers is sent to relieve a garrison manning an isolated military fort located in the heart of the Sierra Madres. Once the soldiers arrive, they soon realize that something is horribly wrong with the soldiers at the fort they were sent to relieve. As a terrible winter storm threatens to seal up all the mountain passes and keep both groups of soldiers stranded in the snow... the "new guys" make the horrible realization that their comrades are fucking CANNIBALS! Murder and carnage ensues within the compound... but then something makes its presence known OUTSIDE the fortress, in the rugged hills surrounding the base. What the hell is out there? Does it have anything to do with this madness? If we send Johnson outside to dig for buried treasure, will it eat his ass?

First impressions of RAVENOUS weren't exactly too favorable. The trailer came across as being pretty fucking snooty, and it looks like it might take itself way too seriously to be anything more than a boring-ass "thriller" with a few scenes of gore tossed in to offend the religious right. Furthermore, test audiences are reported to have practically booed this fucker off the screen... not a good sign. But still, whenever cannibalism rears its unlovely head, you know that NIGHT OF THE CREEPS will be there with bibs on. Hell, even if it is just to see Deputy Dewey (David Arquette) show up as a herb-smoking cannibal cowboy. Rest assured that NOTC will toss you all the scraps we can about this odd horror project!




BLADE and H20 To Release On Video!

December 8th, 1998


Just in time for the festive holiday season, we've got a pair of bloodletting badasses hitting the shelves: Michael Meyers and BLADE. H20 will be releasing on December 15th and BLADE will follow suit on the 22nd. We've got reviews of both of these flicks on our page, so by all means check 'em out! And for all of you stupid fucks who missed BLADE when it toured the box offices of America dealing white-hot death to all who opposed it- now's your chance: this movie kicks ass.




Green Light For AMERICAN PSYCHO

December 3rd, 1998


After months of controversy it seems as though one of the most repulsive stories ever told, Brett Easton Ellis' novel "AMERICAN PSYCHO" is going to be reaching the silver screen. Lion's Gate pictures is going to begin production on the $10-$15 million dollar freakshow sometime in early March of 1999. Director Mary Harron (who actually dropped the project for a few months after a drive was made by the studio to cast LEONARDO DiCAPRIO in the lead role) is set to direct. For those of you out there who have had your head firmly planted up your own ass for the last few years (and haven't heard the MISFITS' latest album), AMERICAN PSYCHO follows the life of a high powered 1980s Wall Street businessman who, in his spare time, just happens to rape, torture, and murder the shit out of scores of innocent female victims. It's a heartwarming tale of rampant drug abuse, blood-soaked lesbian orgies, and rapid-fire nail guns that's sure to bring your family closer together. Christian Bale stars, with Willem Dafoe and Jared Leto as supporting cast. Look for AMERICAN PSYCHO to sleaze its way into the box office sometime next year... but bring your tissue, cause it's sure to be a real tear jerker.




Sci-Fi Beasties Attack In PITCH BLACK

December 5th, 1998


Director David Twohy is prepared to launch your ass into another round of sci-fi monster humping madness with his colossal project PITCH BLACK. Starring Radha Vin Diesel and Cole Hauser, the film focuses on a group of space travellers that crash land on a strange and sun scorched world that is apparently lifeless. Struggling to survive, they soon realize that they are truly fucked in the ass when a massive solar eclipse plunges the planet into darkness and all kinds of ugly alien beasties awake to feed! Despite the group's attempts at defense the plot rapidly degenerates into a wholesale slaughter as, one-by-one, the cast gets eaten!

The 10 man crew of the space shipped destined for oblivion reads off like a menu of the damned. Some wonderfully lame-ass sci-fi archetypes seem to be represented here, so take a look for yourself:

CAROLYN FRY: Junior space pilot and intergalactic ho-bitch extrordinarre.

JOHNS: Futuristic Super Cop who is transporting a deadly killer to justice in (don't laugh) NEW MECCA.

RIDDICK: The aforementioned deadly killer who has a set of bionic eyes that allow him to see in the dark.

THREE GENERIC "CHRISLAM" PILGRIMS: These guys are part of a religion that combines Christianity and Islam. They are on their way to NEW MECCA to eat pork.

AUDREY: The hot-blooded teenage runaway who will get on everyone's nerves unless she gets naked.

ZEKE: A biologist who studies extraterrestrial lifeforms...and will most likely get eaten by them.

SHAZZA: Wife of Zeke and also a xenobiologist (word power= 5 pts.). It's a toss up as to whether she will get eaten by the aliens... or Zeke.

PARIS: An effeminate space fag who deals in antiques (as well as dick). He does, however, have a ton of vintage liquor on hand... so he's sure to get more chicks than you.

The cast of big scary space monsters... while not as ugly as Zeke's wife SHAZZA, are sure to send your gonads on edge. We've got huge hibernating PLOWHEADS, even bigger flying HATCHLINGS (who eat PLOWHEADS like your mama eats dick), and CARNIVORES (which utilize echo-location to hunt for their prey).

The release date for PITCH BLACK has not been confirmed yet- but it is slated for sometime in mid 1999. It's almost a sure thing that this movie is going to be more than a little embarassing... but if the kills are gory enough- or if people panic for long enough before the four legged ZOAT WARRIOR bites off their head with its pincer attack, all of us at NOTC will be grateful. PITCH BLACK is set to release.




Jason Voorhees Action Figures???

December 3rd, 1998


McFarlane Toys, the same company that makes all those little ugly-ass action figures for SPAWN, KISS, and CLASSIC MONSTERS has produced several action figures that need to be at the top of your fucking Christmas List, right next to that inflatable sheep and your own library of TAI-BO WORKOUT VIDEOS. These figures are part of McFarlane Toys' Horror Legends Series, and they include figures of: JASON VOORHEES, FREDDY KREUGER, Texas Chainsaw Massacre's LEATHERFACE, and the two versions of the SPECIES creature.They all come with weapons (machetes, axes, or chainsaws) except for the two SPECIES monsters- which come with titties. It's truly badass that these toys were even made for today's kids- so run on down to the mall and pick some of these fuckers up! What better way to corrupt the youth this Holdiday Season and pave the way for future splatter flicks?






DOC OCK WOULD LIKE TO THANK




ATTENTION CITIZENS OF EARTH:

Although we take measures to ensure the stories we post here on NotC are as accurate as possible, it is important that you understand the movie business (the horror film business, in particular) is unpredictable as hell- and what may apparently be set in stone one day may completely fall through the next. So don't blame us if you tell all your friends something you read on the NotC Rumor Mill and they laugh at you because it isn't exactly true. Night of the Creeps or its Staff Memebers can not be held accountable for your ass if it gets kicked as a result of Doctor Octagon's Rumor Mill Page. In addition, aforementioned Staff Members can not be held accountable for the Olympic Park Bombing, leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving the cake out in the rain. Night of the Creeps is, in no way, associated with the Artist Formerly Known as Prince or Rodan. We are, however, associated with Mecha-King Ghidorah and we reserve the exclusive right to open up a can of mecha-whoop ass on you if you don't get on the phone right now and call your mama. Power to the Nation and the Booty Space Station. All rights reserved. Patent Pending.