The Legacy of Terror That Warped A Generation



...A Tribute By Eagle Te...


The Friday the 13th series (along with the Halloween series) is one of the quintessential foundations for the modern horror genre as we know and love it today!! For the first time in movie history, fornicating, binge drinking adolescents were systematically slaughtered in creative and innovative manners as they repeatedly made the mistake of vacationing at the camp of woe that was Camp Crystal Lake!!! More so than the Halloween series, the Friday series set the standard and formula for a successful bad movie with its use of down right funny eliminations of stereotypical teens as they are repeatedly caught in vulnerable and awkward situations that one would prefer not to be found dead in. Harpoonings while taking a dump, being run through with a spear while pounding on your honey, having a giant spear thrust through you while doing a handstand, and having a party horn thrust through your eye with an acompanying HONK!!! are just a few of the countless ways Jason exacts his revenge on the teenage population while humbling them at the same time. You're the big football star on campus, eh? Well, you don't look too hot with that fireplace poker sticking out of your skull!!! The Friday movies all run along the same plotline: Jason Vorhees, who supposedly drowned as a child due to the negligence of teenage camp counselors, exacts his revenge on the never dwindling pool of teenage flesh that repeatedly shows up at Camp Crystal Lake for one reason or anouther. Each film has a different twist to this storyline to justify its existence as a sequel but they all adhere and follow this for the most part. If you have not seen this series, then order a pizza and sit your monkey ass down and watch some of the funniest horror films ever created. Seriously folks, if you haven't seen at least more than half, then you really cannot enjoy the other films on our regular review list as you will not have this ESSENTIAL base to build off of. The Friday series rubs away all serious undertones you may harbor in watching a horror film and breaks you down until you can laugh without shame at a teenager in a wheelchair being hit with a flying machete and rolling ingloriously down the steps to a bone jarring crash at the bottom!!! The ability to laugh at others misfortune is, after all, what it is all about and vital to be able to enjoy these films on our list that were never meant to be taken seriously (If they were that makes them even funnier!!) WATCH THESE FIRST TO PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY FOR THE PROPER ENJOYMENT OF THE BAD MOVIE!!!






The Individual Films Themselves




FRIDAY THE 13th





Released: 1980
Runtime: 95 minutes
Directed By: Sean S. Cunningham
Jason Played By: Ari Lehman
BODY COUNT: unconfirmed

The original that started it all!!! Jason isn't the killer in this one, its Mum and boy is she pissed!! More serious than any of the others and genuinely scary at times!!! Not as many funny deaths but this is made up for by a sincerely scary film!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART II





Released: 1981
Runtime: 87 minutes
Directed By: Steve Miner
Jason Played By: Warrington Gillette
BODY COUNT: 10

Jasons first appearence and boy is he a cutie!!! Jason wears a burlap sack on his head in the first film where the kills are simply hilarious!!! Keep an eye out for wheelchair boy's trip down the Stairway to Heaven!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART III





Released: 1982
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed By: Steve Miner
Jason Played By: Richard Brooker
BODY COUNT: 12

Originally shot in 3-D, this is probably my favorite out of the whole bunch!! Jason gets his mask in this one and the movie is nonstop fucking up of teenage dumbasses and a motorcycle gang to boot!! Look out for the handstand smash...it will have you rolling!!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER





Released: 1984
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed By: Joseph Zito and Joe Hoffman
Jason Played By: Ted White
BODY COUNT: 13

A young Corey Feldman stars in this one and boy does it kick ass!!! The corkscrew scene is priceless and its easily worth the price of admission to see a four year old boy hack up a serial killer while screaming "DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!!!" We also get a good look at Jason at the end (definitely a face only a mother could love) and he looks like the love child of Sloth from the Goonies and a Mantaur!! One of the best Jason films out there!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART V: A NEW BEGINNING





Released: 1985
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed By: Danny Steinmann
Jason Played By: Nobody(!)
BODY COUNT: unconfirmed

Jason supposedly died in the last one so the Jason killer is a copycat in probably the weakest of the Friday films. But doesn't mean that it doesn't kick ass because the kills in this one are some of the funniest out there!! Look for the garden clippers scene and the leather strap around the eyes for a good laugh!! I liked the whole mental ward motif as well!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART VI: JASON LIVES!





Released: 1986
Runtime: 87 minutes
Directed By: Tom McLoughlin
Jason Played By: C.J. Graham
BODY COUNT: 18

Easily one of the best if not the best Jason films in the series!!! Jason is back from the dead thanks to Tommy Jarvis digging him up and a convienient lightning bolt that begins the fun once again!!! The first of the supernatural zombie Jason, this film is nonstop laughs as Jason makes up for lost time by hacking up a paintball group and mercilessly fucking up every poor dumbass he comes across. The kills are absolutely awesome and the James Bond gun barrel intro is funny as shit!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD





Released: 1988
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed By: John Carl Buechler
Jason Played By: Kane Hodder
BODY COUNT: 15

Jason is back again but this time he may have met his match in the telekinetic powers of Tina!! Again, the kills are hilarious (this is the one with the party horn and the sleeping bag back breaker!!!!) and watching Jason get worked over by Tina is definitely worth your time!!!!




FRIDAY THE 13th, PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN





Released: 1989
Runtime: 96 minutes
Directed By: Rob Hedden
Jason Played By: Kane Hodder
BODY COUNT: 18

Definitely one of the best just for mindless stupidity's sake!!! Jason fucking shit up in the Big Apple is something you'll be telling your grandchildren about!!! The boxing scene will have you hitting that rewind button at least three times its so good!!!!




JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY





Released: 1993
Directed By: Adam Marcus
Jason Played By: Kane Hodder
BODY COUNT: 21

Has a different feel than the others but it is probably the best sendoff in a series ever!!! This film will have you rolling with laughter and the diner scene made me choke on the popcorn in the theater it was so good!!!






FRIDAY THE 13th LINKS

Although we pay homage to the man, the myth, the legend that is Jason Voorhees and all the gory goodness that pervades his films- we in no way claim to be the undisputed masters of the FRIDAY THE 13th movies. Collected below are links to some of the most impressive (and thorough) FRIDAY THE 13th web sites and resources on Earth. Each one is a must see for any fan of the series!


FridayThe13th.com
Most likely THE definitive Friday the 13th site on the web. With tons of information on the series: reviews, pictures, video and audio clips, interviews, live chat, a video store, fan club, and gift shop- Fridaythe13th.com is truly a camper's best friend. An absolutely amazing amount of work went into this and Jesus, it shows. Visit them today!



The Coroner Report
A hysterical list of EVERY victim from EVERY Friday the 13th movie that was ever killed by the man Jason Voorhees himself: including their given name and how they died! It's all drawn up like an official County of Forest Green Coroner's Report! Courtesy of our loathsome pals over at HOUSE OF HORRORS!