You Can't Kill Ugly

"Girls, I've got good news and bad news...

The good news is, your dates are here. The bad news is... THEY'RE DEAD!

-Night of the Creeps

Abracadabra, Bitch.

April 12th, 2006

This Summer, history will end. Not with the inevitable mushroom cloud on the skyline and the blackened bodies stacked like cordwood on every street corner... but with Snakes on a Plane. When those opening credits roll, humanity will have achieved its ultimate potential. There will be no more Olympian heights to conquer. And as you are seated in that theater- witnessing mankind's final, transcendental step with your heart in your throat...

...we will be fucking your mom.

But until that blessed day, we've got plenty of Z-grade horror flick SHIT to shovel down America's throat. Nothing fresh. Nothing current. Nothing you can drive your wack ass to the Megaloplex and see in THX surround sound. Just the rankest nuggets of celluloid filth the studios ever shat out.

Today's special is a real corn-studded, fecal masterpiece. Call it DEMONS, call it DEMONI, but don't call it a comeback: it's been here for years. 21, in fact. So while you and your fake ID are getting clowned by the doorman outside Daffy D's Sports Bar- DEMONS is inside talkin' NASCAR and honking tits like it's going out of motherfucking style.

So head on down to the nest of vice that is the NOTC Flick List and relive the magic of the 80s- courtesy of the indigestible Z MAN's Righteous Cock of Literary Wonder.

-The NOTC Staff


THE NOTC WAITING LIST: Who the fuck are we kidding?

Special Bonus!!! For those of you who made it this far down the page, you get a special treat: your taint tickled by that blue bitch from The Fifth Element.

Several have died before you in their quest for bad movies!

Hello, and welcome to Night of the Creeps, a web page devoted to only the worst and most tasteless movies around. Our mission is not only to watch, but inform the world of some of the most entertaining pieces of shit of film there are. We do it, not only for the good of ourselves, but for the good of mankind.

But... first here are a few rules we follow when engaged in movie mayhem:

  • Always eat wings, stupid sounding cookies (like Big-60 Cremeos), or cheap pizza before or during a session.
  • Anything with Zombie or Massacre in the title is a must rent.
  • Don't take the movie too serious... it kind of defeats the point.

The Bad Movie Association Official

5 Star Rating System

Hands down incredible. This movie will
make you shit gold and do a back flip. Only a
choice few recieve 5, but if they do... watch
at all costs.
Very entertaining. Lots of the things we love: sex,
blood, gore, & sex.
A solid rent. Had some great moments. It overall
lacked the the power of a 4, but still is worth a look.
Not very good. Possibly one or two good
killings, or a funny line or two- but
dont be fooled: A two star rating
is pretty lousy. Definitely a rent
at your own risk.
Sucked. Plain and simple. Don't bother, in fact
try to hide the tape in your local video store
so others won't be tempted.
Zero Stars.
If any movie ever gets this rating we will also
include the names and address of actors,
directors, and video stores that carry, or have
any kind of association with this film, and we
hope you will locate these places and people
and burn them, or better yet hack them up and
make a nice gumbo out of what is left and
serve it at your next Sunday, church pot
luck dinner.

Now that you understand our madness... you can view:

Flick List

This page in no way reflects the opinions of any of the makers of the films reviewed, but it should. It does, however, reflect the opinions of seven retarded bastards from shaolin. It also reflects...well, lasers. If you like what you see: congratulations. Come back continually, come again and again, just don't come on the bus or the driver will make you clean up that mess and probably kick you off at the next stop. There SHOULD be many and frequent updates... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Also let us know what you think (like we give a shit). E-mail us at The star and title artwork is the property of Night of the Creeps, but since we're firm believers in the right for internet users to steal whatever fucking images they please from one another... swipe whatever graphics you want from the page. Just don't try to pass our reviews off as your own, or we'll send Abobo to your house to wipe a booger on your velvet picture of Ric Flair.