"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"



Got Some News, Rumors, Or Scoops For Doctor Octagon?


Well damn! March 1999 was all about the fucking sequels: FREDDY vs. JASON, URBAN LEGEND 2, CHILD'S PLAY V: SEED OF CHUCKY, STRANGELAND 2, DUNSTON CHECKS IN 2, and CATHOLIC LINGERIE PENITENTARY 2 all made headlines this month. There's plenty of cool rumors to be found: particularly about the impending release of FREDDY VS. JASON. So if pain is your pleasure, put your nutsack in a waffle iron- but if you crave rumors about completely worthless horror flicks: LOOK NO FURTHER!







KGB MOLE UNEARTHS SHIT ON FREDDY VS. JASON

March 29th, 1999


Thank God for the tyranny of the majority: because if it wasn't for all of you slag head dipshits out there in WEBtv land (and you know who you are, you pathetic bastards: fell the shame) clamoring for info on Freddy Vs. Jason, this unknown assailant would naver have stepped forward. Of course, his "secret report" is completely unconfirmed on all counts- but sounds pretty plausible. Due to the fact that he caught a NATO 5.56 round in the back of the fucking head last week at McDonald's: we've been unable to get any further information out of him. Oh sure, we interrogated his corpse for 8 hours straight... but all he did is bloat and peel a bit under those hot lamps. Anyway: enjoy this report (delivered unto us through the kindness of ARC VILE and his global network of Eurotrash Sex Droids) and keep your hands to yourselves.





ROB ZOMBIE'S HORROR PROJECT

March 29th, 1999


By now everyone's pretty familiar with the fact that once upon a time... legendary Hellbilly Shitkicking Rock Star ROB ZOMBIE was set to direct a sequel to THE CROW. Of course, the fickle nature of the beast that is Hollywood put Rob (he and Doc Oc go waaaaay back, bitch. so eat my shit and grin) out on his ass. However, undaunted, the sinister purveyor of gangstabilly perversion set out to break into the horror movie biz any which way he could.

Well, last week the diseased fruit of Rob Zombie's labor paid off. It was announced in the latest issue of HOLLYWOOD REPORTER that he has been picked up by NEW LINE CINEMAS (in conjunction with MADGUY FILMS) to helm an upcoming horror project entitled THE LEGEND OF THE 13 GRAVES. The picture (which will go into production later this year for a 2000 release) is supposedly a throwback to the old school TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE / PHANTASM style of horror flick. The story of 13 GRAVES involves a group of young travellers taking a road trip across America in search of al lthe backwoods weirdness it has to offer. While embarked upon their strange odyssey: they come across a seemingly normal looking town that harbors a family of derranged lunatics bent on murder and mayhem. All further details are classified (which means that our prisoner died before our NOTC Interror Gator Bitch Batallion could beat any more information out of his ass). Enjoy your bone, dog! You shall get no more!




CHUCKY PLANTS HIS SEED

March 26th, 1999


Yes yes... as we all know: dolls like to fuck. It's no secret. Chucky and his wedded wench, Tiffany got in on in BRIDE OF CHUCKY and ensured America yet another sequel. Well, for quite a while it was assumed that the new flick (slated for an early 2000 release) would be titled SON OF CHUCKY. However, thanks to the midnight insertion of our NOTC mechanical death spawn Togo 5 into Don Mancini's upscale East-Side Duplex: we have uncovered a title change for the latest CHILD'S PLAY film. It's new title is SEED OF CHUCKY. Go Go Togo Cinque! Now put that in your pipe and smoke it, nootch.




THE CULT OF PERSONALITY

March 26th, 1999


It was your favorite track on VIVID (yeah, you bought it- admit it, fucker) and now it comes screaming to the big screen as the sequel to DEE SNIDER'S STRANGELAND. Miraculous as it may seem, seeing as how the original was loathed by both critics and box-office patrons, STRANGELAND II: THE CULT OF PERSONALITY is a project that Dee admitted to in an interview with TV guide Online earlier this week. Dee admits that it is currently in the "outlining & researching phase of pre-production", which means that we won't see this flick for quite some time... and even then, it's theatrical release will be in serious question! Perhaps the sequel will become a straight-to-video release a la TEXAS BLOOD MONEY?




URBAN LEGEND 2 Is In Effect!

March 17th, 1999


Well, at least according to VARIETY. It seems as though the satanic jizzmak kingpins at PHOENIX PICTURES were impressed enough with a pitch for an URBAN LEGEND sequel that they are poised to buy the rights of the franchise. Plot details were intentionally kept confidential, but was hyped by the studio VP Rick Hess (surprised?) who said that this idea was "such a unique and suspenseful take on the sequel that we decided to do it." The production squad (consisting of Gina Matthews, Neal H. Moritz, Brad Luff, and Nick Osbourne) has been announced but it is unknown who will direct the picture. (I offered, but the fuckers turned me down.) An early 2000 release is expected, although nothing has been announced yet. Keep your eyes locked on to NIGHT OF THE CREEPS for further details!




Count Bakula To Return In LORD OF ILLUSIONS 2?

March 17th, 1999


That zany lord of high-brow horror fiction CLIVE BARKER is at it again... or at least DIMENSION FILMS is. It seems that DIMENSION stumbled upon a Barker short story entitled "VIPEX" that interested them a great deal and they have formulated a script (penned by David Campbell Wilson) for the picture that Barker personally approved of. The story involves Scott Bakula's paranormal investigator Harry D'Mour from LORD OF ILLUSIONS, and the good Count is expected to return to the silver screen to do battle with demons, perverts, and all kinds of twisted Barkeresque shit. It's called VIPEX, you assholes... so look for it sometime down the road. Just don't expect it to come rocketing out of Hollywood's megalithic asshole any time soon: it's reportedly been given low priority by the studio drones.




STRANGELAND 2: We're Not Gonna Take It

March 12th, 1999


In a completely shocking move, Twisted sister cuntman (ABC) DEE SNIDER announced to a group of high-powered Yakuza mob bosses that he has plans to release a sequel to STRANGELAND into theaters sometime next year. Of course, when they took a look at the original's box-office take (it fucking bombed) they told him they'd have to cut off some fingers. When he asked whose fingers, they karate kicked his ass out of the limo and told him to suck his way to glory. No word on whether or not Dee's project will actually get the green light... but let's just say that its future is very uncertain.




FREDDY vs. JASON BEGINS FILMING

March 12th, 1999


When that New Line executive's parasail was blown off course and became tangled in the hoary trees that dot CREEP ISLAND, he knew that he was completely fucked. As soon as our cybernetic fleshhounds drug his bleeding, broken carcass before the members of the Star Chamber: we had made up our minds to get some information out of him. A few hours in the vivisection theater with Unit 731's own necrotic overlord DOCTOR OCTAGON and the poor bastard was telling us all kind of shit. Torture makes for some lovely conversation: and the information he revealed to us about FREDDY VS. JASON is pretty fucking sweet. It seems as though the film commenced filming this weekend in Canada (Etibicoke, Ontario to be exact) under the working title MILLENIUM MASSACRE. Casting is still really nebulous at this point, but it is said that JOHN FUREY (Paul from FRIDAY THE 13th: PART 2) will be trying to track down Jason Voorhees. Look for FREDDY VS. JASON to appear in theaters later this year. It's tentatively scheduled for a Halloween release: so let's keep our fingers crossed!




FREDDY VS. JASON DETAILS UNEARTHED!

March 8th, 1999


Whoa Shit! Usually our nocturnal graveyard forays result in little more than the NOTC War Clan digging up a few more girlfriends.... but hot damn if we didn't stumble upon some cool shit this time around. We unearthed a Wu Tang Time Capsule that contained some information about the plot of the upcoming horror wet dream FREDDY VS. JASON. It seems that in the twisted gimpfuck world of FREDDY VS. JASON, Mr. Kreuger and Comrade Voorhees have some strange history together. Apparently, this strange shared origin is going to have something to do with the premise of the flick: where Jason and Freddy "battle to take supernatural control of Freddy's home town". Lisa Wilcox, (the nootch from NIGHTMARE IV: THE DREAM MASTER and NIGHTMARE V: THE DREAM CHILD) and John D. LeMay (JASON GOES TO HELL) both step from their respective series to join forces in FREDDY VS. JASON. Apparently they're going to get the whole Elm Street Gang back together to beat some psycho ass. Strange plot rumors abound about this flick- so take everything you read about "Millenium Massacre" with a grain of salt: especially the shit you read on this fucking garbage heap! Oh yeah- and for your info: the tentative release date for FREDDY VS. JASON is around Halloween, 1999. More on this as we can get it!




THE LOST TALES FROM THE CRYPT FLICK: FAT TUESDAY?

March 7th, 1999


A shadowy rumor that just wafted up the chasm from Satan's black asshole has really piqued our interest. Word round the campfire is that there was a THIRD "Tales From The Crypt" movie actually filmed (following BORDELLO OF BLOOD)... but never released in theaters or video because of some drastic problems late in its development. This aborted TALES FROM THE CRYPT project, dubbed "FAT TUESDAY" supposedly involved voodoo rituals in modern day New Orleans. Essentially NOTHING is known about the flick... except that one reason it was never released was because they used an ALL-WHITE cast to depict the thriving Louisiana voodoo community. Oh well, go fucking figure. Just a puff of smoke out of the ass of the Foul One that we thought some of you would enjoy. Any scraggly gutter troll out there who has any info on this completely shady rumor had best speak the fuck up before DOCTOR OCTAGON executes his SHOOTING STAR PRESS off the top rope and breaks your fucking sternum!




SON OF CHUCKY Confirmed!

March 5th, 1999


Don't act so shocked! (It might help if your remove that electrode from your anus) With BRIDE OF CHUCKY surpassing all projected box office takes last year and thoroughly whipping some ass at home and abroad, it was destined to happen. That's right, you fucking loagy bastards: CHILD'S PLAY V: SON OF CHUCKY is on it's way. Scheduled for an early 2000 release, SON OF CHUCKY will pick up where its predecessor left off... with an ugly little nerf fetus that's ready to eat some fucking brains. Both BRAD DOURIF and JENNIFER TILLY have signed up for the project- so expect for both Chucky and Tiffany to make repeat appearances. Also, it should be of note that BRIDE OF CHUCKY director RONNY YU *WILL NOT* be returning for this picture. Instead, the writing and directing will be going back to DON MANCINI, the man behind the original CHILD'S PLAY. Thanks to FANGORIA and the people under the stairs for this little nugget of ass filth.




SCREAM 3 (with Neve Campbell) Confirmed!

March 2nd, 1999


Pubescent shit gnomes of earth rejoice! While the subtle pleasures of my steel-toed moon boot crushing your dental dreamwork may not be enough to start your motor.... you can bet your 64-bit ass that today's news about NEVE CAMPBELL RETURNING TO THE SCREAM FRANCHISE will. Now personally, since da bitch don't get naked... I don't give a flying badger fuck about her involvement, however. It has been confirmed that she will be returning in her role as Sydney Prescott. Along with Neve, other familiar faces such as Courtney Cox's reporter Gale Weathers and David Arquette's Deputy Dewey will be a long for the ride.

As for the plot? Well, we've got that too. SCREAM 3 picks up with Sydney leaving college and heading to Hollywood to become an actress in film. Of course, not long after she gets off the fucking bus: the bodies begin to pile up. It seems someone has donned the infamous ghost-face killing mask again and is acing nubile Hollywood starlets and the schlomos who love them. Expect plenty of cheasy references to movies of every description in this one: as the setting is going to lend itself to this perfectly. Now if they'll just resurrect Randy....

SCREAM 3 is set for a December 10th release date this year! It is set to begin shooting as early as May. Horror hackenstein Kevin Williamson is scripting the naughty bitch and, of course, king kong gorelord Wes Craven is going to direct this third installment.




CHERRY 2000

March 2nd, 1999


CHERRY FALLS, the latest horror flick from retarded helmsman Geoffery Wright, is slowly inching towards completion. The film features virginal teen starlet Brittany Murphy indentifying a psychotic serial killer and exposing the secret behaviors of her hometowns most respected citizens. Actor Jay Mohr (Jerry MacGuire and Mafia!) has just been signed on to the cast. The flick is going to be filming in Virginia this month, and a Fall release date is planned (but not officially announced). Trendy horror in full effect here, lads... so mind your nutsacks and grip your glock: hardcore gorehounds will probably want to avoid this turdfest. Of course, who knows? Maybe CHERRY FALLS will be able to rise above its meager bloodline and whip some fucking ass. In any case, be sure to keep your eyes glued to NOTC for further updates. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to teach some Amish kids about the joys of INHALANTS.




DOC OCK WOULD LIKE TO SHANK




ATTENTION CITIZENS OF EARTH:

Although we take measures to ensure the stories we post here on NotC are as accurate as possible, it is important that you understand the movie business (the horror film business, in particular) is unpredictable as hell- and what may apparently be set in stone one day may completely fall through the next. So don't blame us if you tell all your friends something you read on the NotC Rumor Mill and they laugh at you because it isn't exactly true. Night of the Creeps or its Staff Memebers can not be held accountable for your ass if it gets kicked as a result of Doctor Octagon's Rumor Mill Page. In addition, aforementioned Staff Members can not be held accountable for the Olympic Park Bombing, leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving the cake out in the rain. Night of the Creeps is, in no way, associated with the Artist Formerly Known as Prince or Rodan. We are, however, associated with Mecha-King Ghidorah and we reserve the exclusive right to open up a can of mecha-whoop ass on you if you don't get on the phone right now and call your mama. Power to the Nation and the Booty Space Station. All rights reserved. Patent Pending.