In the days of old, when we had godless times, there was a champion of the
Ancient Lord Vulca, Master of the Southern winds. His swordsmanship was
matched by no man, his brawn was unparralled by any mortal, and yes, he
was skilled at darts. Then, Ankhara came forth to Acheron and defeated
Lord Vulca and send this champion into exile for the next 2,000 years. He
has served his time in exile and has returned to his native homeland.
Much has changed from the days of old, but this champion of the sword has
changed as well. He learned the ways of Beta and the art of the VCR.
This now humble monk of the Nine Seasons of Doom shall use his arcane
wisdom for the good of mankind. He is here to defeat the evil ones who
shall package shitty movies and present them to the un-educated as if they
were a feast set for kings. Brother Phil has come home.