976-EVIL

Year:1988
Rated: R
Run Time: 102 minutes (!)
Production Company: New Line Cinema
Director: Robert Englund (Yes... THAT Robert Englund!)
Starring: Stephen Geoffreys, Lezlie Deane, Patrick O' Bryan
T & A: Hell No
W: Sit



"Tonight, SATAN Makes A House Call!"


O.K, pretend for just a second that you're a loser geek who has no real friends, an up tight conservative bitch for a mother, the personality of mongolian beef, and the only way you can get off is to sniff the panties of the slut your psuedo-friend just fucked! Sound bad enough for you? Well, my toothless Ho's... it's not! Cause this is just the beginning to the classic TnT MonsterVision flick 976-EVIL!

The character described above is your main character, and the movie revolves around his shitty life! For the first hour of the movie we are introduced to different characters, the drug infested street/school gang, the punk fonz look alike, the AWESOME SLUT(WHOOOO), the religious fanatic mom, and the Daily Star reporter!!! Basically our little geek runs into all of them and gets treated like shit- which in theory sounds like fun- but it actually sucks a bigger cock than Richard Simmons! But then enters... THE AWESOME SLUT!!!!!

This part of the movie kicked ass, and even though it lasted for only about 15 minutes or so, it was well worth it!!! Why you ask, well let's talk about LEGS, as in in she has some of the best ever seen on T.V. Oh yeah let's not forget about THE CLAMP, as in when she wraps those legs around you and fucks you in a dentist's chair! Her pelvic thrusts were a pleasure to watch! Plus, she gets naked and we see TITTIES! She's was definitely a BIG plus for this movie!!!! However, like all good things, it came to an end!

Why, you ask? I'll tell you why. It's because that damn director thought a plot was more important than a couple of C cup breasts bouncing up and down on a rotating platform! I say fuck you mister director man! Oh well, the story goes that little Bobby (or what ever the fuck his name is) finds the number for HELL, and decides to call it! After a couple of phone calls, Bobby becomes the devil and kills everybody you were introduced to in the first half! Some of the action was good, but for the most part, it was just O.K. In the end, Hell begins to freeze over or something and little demon bobby gets banished (or something)! There is a cool scene where he spits an atomic loogie! Then the story ends and everybody goes home happy, OR DO THEY? There's a sequel to this flick, so rest assured the madness has only begun! We'll bring you that classic when we get the nerve to rent it!

El Santo sez: "I'd like to get locked in the clamp with that hottie!"


Z-Man:"Last week I found the telephone number for Hell, but when I didn't call 1-800-COLLECT (and save the screeching demonic hordes up to 44%) Moloch rose from the Abyss and poked me in the eye. The bastard."


El Santo:"It's really not that good, but then again it's not that bad, if you can suffer through the beginning, you'll be alright!!! Plus it has titties!!!"