Bride of Chucky
Child's Play 4
Chucky and His Bride
Run Time: ?? minutes
Production Company: Universal Pictures
Director: Ronny Yu (Bride With White Hair, Bride With White Hair 2, Chasing Dragon)
Starring: Brad Dourif, Jennifer Tilly, John Ritter
T & A: Does Doll Ass Count? HELL YES
Fuck and: Suck
Okay, when we saw the preview for Bride of Chucky in front of H2O, everybody here at NOTC dropped a gold brick in their BVDs! We simply could not believe that somebody actually had the balls to make this flick in this day and age! So naturally, everybody was there for the sneak preview of what we were sure was going to be a two star effort at best. Whoa damn, were we wrong! Before I go into why this movie is one of the absolute best fourth installments to ever be launched in a horror movie series, here is a brief plot summary:
The film starts off with the dismembered Chucky doll being bought from a corrupt cop by the former girlfriend (named Tiffany and played by Jennifer Tilly) of the killer whose soul possessed the Chucky dolls in the previous installments! With the doll in her possession, she then tries to resurrect Chucky's dead spirit back into the doll which she has mended back together! Once she succeeds Chucky neatly arranges her death and performs the voodoo ceremony on her and brings her spirit back in the body of a female doll...he now has a companion and after all, isn't that what we're all looking for?!?! The two dolls now must try to make their way to Hackensack, New Jersey where an amulet that can restore them to their former selves is buried in the grave of the killer who possesses the Chucky doll! They make their way there with the unwitting help of a lovesick teenage couple trying to escape from her oppressive chief of police father played by a rather plump John Ritter! What follows is a spree of murders and general mayham as the couple finds themselves on the run when they are accused of the murders perpetrated by the two dolls!
Alright now damn it, lets get down to the nitty gritty! Despite everything we thought and perhaps what all of America thought, this movie ROCKS SERIOUS ASS! I know, I never thought that I would hear these words come out of Eagle Te's mouth about this movie but it is completely true! There is so much hysterical shit in this film that I don't even know where to begin. For those of you who hate Goth fucks, you will absolutely shit when you see Chucky take care of Tiffany's Goth friend Damien as he lies helpless, handcuffed to the bed! The excruciating ripping of the lip ring was fucking hilarious and watching Chucky suffocate him with a pillow while bouncing up and down on him is the stuff of movie legend! Eagle Te was also impressed with the classic scene where John Ritter is the recipient of twenty fucking nails to the face, something Eagle Te has wanted to do since Ritter allowed Eagle Te's favorite sitcom, Three's Company, Four's a Tournament, was cancelled back when Te was a confused pubescent Eagle wondering why he experienced a strange stiffness everytime he saw Maria on Sesame Street hug Big Bird! Anyway, classic scenes are all over this one and some of the more memorable ones include watching people do combat rolls out of phone booths to avoid flying debris from an exploding police car, watching the absolutely amazing scene where Jade and Jesse's gay friend David gets hit by a speeding tractor trailer and turns into a huge explosion of what looks like about a thousand pounds of wet, raw ground up hamburger meat!!! This scene was unbelievable and easily ranks as one of my favorites of all time...no shit! Some other kick ass scenes are when the Tiffany doll gets put in the oven and comes out all burnt and pissed, the actual midget overhead shots where the two dolls fight with bo staffs, and the variety of kung fu strikes that send these little dolls hurtling across the screen! Need further proof why this film will rock your ass and tickle your colon? Then try this on for size you insatiable fucks...the Chucky and Tiffany doll actually FUCK in this movie! No shit people, this possibilty was only "Wouldn't it be cool" idea in the back of my mind...I didn't think there would be any way they would do it! Well fuck that, they sure as hell did!! And I'm not talking about some wimpy allusion to it, they show the Tiffany doll's ass and the undressing of the dolls! You get to see their fireside shadows bumping and grinding and saying some hilarious shit! While you may not find this particularly arousing, Eagle Te does. YOu see, it gets pretty lonely at the training monastery on Red Fox Mountain and female companionship of the plastic kind is all us Kung Fu masters get up there...I haven't been that turned on since I saw the latest installment of Tae Kwon Do Forms with Barney and the girls of Solid Gold!!! If you need even more (you should be starting to get the picture that this flick really pours it on) then know this...there is a special surprise at the end that YOU WILL NOT BE EXPECTING and you will absolutely lose all bowel control and shotgun green apple splatters all over your seat (ok, so that was just me) when you see what it is!! Just take my word for it...it rocks ass!!!
I don't know what else to say! This movie is probably the most fun I have had at a screening in a long time and I am simply amazed at how funny and bold this movie was in its shameless continuation of the Chucky series! I mean, Chucky and the Tiffany doll get smoked up on some weed for God's sake! Now what was the last movie that you saw where two dolls get smoked up on some hemp besides some documentary footage of Kermit the Frog and Gonzo backstage at the Muppet Show! This film is definitely a worthy installment in the series and even if you don't like the Chucky series you need to see this flick! Its not often that something this shameless hits the big screen and take Te's word for it...You won't be disappointed! Eagle Te definitely APPROVES!!!
Our Rating System
Mr. Paul: "This one was surprisingly awesome! Chucky gets fucked, John Ritter gets fucked up, and the gay guy gets truck fucked. Many memorable scenes. The only way it could've been better was if baboons were tearing each other apart."
Z-man: "It's hard to believe that this movie was ever fucking made... but thank God it was! This incredibly satisfying sequel to CHILD'S PLAY easily outdoes its two predecessors with all the pint-sized retard antics. Midget Fu, Nail Bomb Face Impalings, Exploding Roadkill Fags, Police Car Shrapnel Tearing Phone Booths In Half, and plenty of scenes involving DOLLS smoking weed and fucking(!!!) makes BRIDE OF CHUCKY an instant hit with NOTC. If you can stand all of the stupid ass animatronics (and a handful of one-liners that fall flat as fuck), this is a perfect midnight movie for you and all of your retarded friends... even the handicapped one you call "WHEELS". Definitely required viewing material for fans of the series. "
El Santo: "Once in a great while a movie comes along that really grabs you by the balls and yanks so hard you caugh up a big fat turd! I'm more then happy to say that this movie does all of that + more! It's got shovel wielding dolls, exploding bodies, doll sex, and most of all: some great one liners! Go out and see this shit, you won't be disappointed!"
Eagle Te: "I'm still in shock at how awesome this was!!!! The exploding Fag scene, the exploding waterbed of death, and the doll fucking make this an easy four stars in my book!!! I just hope that I can get Jennifer Tilly to put a heart tatoo on that other titty that says, TE!!!!"
General Zod: "Red rover red rover let MACK TRUCK come over."
Marquis De Sade: "He walks, he talks, he smokes weed, he fucks, HE KILLS. What child in America wouldn't want Chucky for a pal? For Ages Three and Up."
Click Here To Visit
The Official BRIDE OF CHUCKY Web Site!