Year: 1984
Rated: R
Run Time: 88 minutes
Production Company: New World Pictures
Director: Douglas Cheek
Starring: John Heard, Laure Mattas, Daniel Stern
T & A: Hell No
Paging: Mr. Herman

"Ugly. Slobbering. Ferocious. Carnivorous. They're not staying down there anymore!"

Once upon a time in a land not too far from your home a pile of shit walked into town; we call it C.H.U.D. Cannibalistic Huminoid Underground Dwellers, a title more than a mother could love. But that's where the excitement stops, unless you're idea of a good time involves watching film excrement slide across the screen at an annoyingly slow rate. No death, no speed, no nudity, no fun. This is the one that followed Jack-O on the night we commonly refer to as "The night we came very close to killing ourselves and all those around us." There's nothing remotely decent about this film. I recommend you invest a buck and a half to rid your local video store of it.

-Mr. Paul

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "And I thought getting kicked in the groin was the most painful thing I've experienced."

Z-man: "Close your eyes and envision a steaming hot shit log silently gliding out of a gorilla's hairy ass. THAT, my friends, is the essence of C.H.U.D."

El Santo: "Any move that I can't make it through gets El Santo's royal Blessing---A KICK IN THE ASS!!"

Eagle Te: "About as fun as eating the corn out of a dead man's shit."

Merciful Buddha!