Cutting Class

Year: 1989
Rated: R
Run Time: 91 minutes
Production Company: Gower Street Pictures / April Films
Director: Rospo Pallenberg
Starring: Donovan Leitch, Jill Schoelen, Brad Pitt, Roddy McDowall
T & A: Hell No
Toss: Across

"Oh Shit!!! Brad Pitt!!!"

When an actor becomes very well known and famous it's great to go back in time a few years before they made it big and see some of the schlock they put out early in their careers. You've seen him in SE7EN, 12 Monkeys, 7 Years In Tibet, and a few other movies with confusing math in the title, but none of those roles come close to the Academy Award Reject List performance Brad Pitt let loose in the psychological, High School Slasher: CUTTING CLASS. He plays Dwight Ingalls, the cocky, cool guy that dates a hot cheerleader that doesn't get naked. But when he's not making fun of geeks and nerds he drinks and is a complete failure in both his studies and on the basketball team... what a guy. But enough about Mr. Legends of the fall... let's talk plot.

Brian Woods (a.k.a. Brian "I killed my father" Woods, a.k.a. Billy Dee Williams) has recently been released from the local mental institution and put back into society. However, people start coming up dead, and people begin to point the finger at Brian. Brian turns to his friend Paula for help insisting that he is innocent. Thrills ensue as Paula must figure who is perpetrating these crimes before she becomes a victim herself. Is it Brian: the psychopath who rides a Schwin bike complete with handle tassles and banana seat, Dwight: the drunken boyfriend who is a total failure in the eyes of everyone... including his own father, Shultz: the crazy janitor skilled in the art of the 8 Chopper Fist, or is it the pink panties that have been possessed by Satan himself?!?! Who knows?

Well, I know, but I'll let you figure that shit out yourself. You think it'll be easy... bullshit! There is more plot twisting intrigue in this movie than SCREAM, URBAN LEGEND, and WILD THINGS put together. It had us turning on each other it was so intense... wait that was for that last wing. But none the less, the movie was full of twists, turns, and tangles. Eagle Te and Z-man shared their theory while El Santo was a believer in something else. As for myself... I think everyone's a suspect! Even though Martin Mull got shot at the beginning of the movie, he still could have killed all those people. He also recieves our MVP for this one. He eats powdered doughnuts while staring into the gaping maw of death and Rusty the Crime Dog! Roddy McDowall also recieves the dirty old man award. It's a shame he's died. Such a gifted actor. He looked up that skirt with all the zeal of a 7th grader. Damn. This movie's a good example of a HSS. Plenty of High School antics to keep you satisfied. Don't shoot your mother for it, but maybe your neighbor's dog.

-Mr. Paul and his package of mind numbing Duplex

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "It was just a matter of time before some cunt was going to get some cunt."

Z-man: "A below average High School Slasher that bumbles around right up until the final battle of Good vs. Evil. Well, actually, it's just a battle between BRAD PITT and some guy in a high school metal shop... but DEAR MOM, it is fucking bad ass. I laughed so hard during that epic contest of martial prowess that a Little Debbie snack cake rocketed out of my left nostril and into oblivion. It was a Swiss Cake Roll. Mmmm..."

El Santo: "It has its slow parts and for the most part the killing lacks, but the last scene more then makes up for this! Also, the clever use of tasteless one-liners, sleazy jokes, and sexual images keeps you in line until you get to that last scene!"

Eagle Te: "Watching Brad Pitt do spin kicks and shattering glass has a strange appeal to it and this flick gets two stars alone for putting his head in a vise. This flick is worth the price of rental for the last thirty minutes which are simply awesome!!!!"