Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight
Run Time: 92 minutes
Production Company: MCA/Universal Pictures
Director: Ernest R. Dickerson
Starring: Jon Kassier, Billy Zane, William Sadler, Jada Pinkett
T & A: Hell Yes
Up Up Down Down: Left Right Left Right
Long before most of us were born there was a series of comic books that were burned by religious groups and attacked by the moral majority. They were called Tales from the Crypt. Twisted tales about monsters, demons, and fun things you'd like your daughter to play with while you're out of town. Many years later, HBO made a series based on those comics with the famed Crypt Keeper, which most of you are probably familiar with, and it told similar stories but through the more modern innovation we like to call Television. Why is this history lesson important you ask? Well, in 1995 the Crypt Keeper returned to the scene to bring us a lovely little film called: Demon Knight.
The movie starts with a campy introduction with the Crypt Keeper being silly and stupid and making really bad puns. It only lasts about 5 minutes... so it's not that bad. The actual picture starts with Brayker (William Sadler) being chased by a mysterious character known only as The Collector (Billy Zane). During a high speed chase Brayker manages to blow up The Collector's car and escape to a run down inn where he meets a recently unemployed mailman, a prostitute, a juvenile delinquent, as well several other zany characters to add spice to the film. While the police are inspecting the car crash our Billy Zane comes walking out of the wreckage, and solicits the help of the local pigs to help him find Brayker. After you go and take a piss The Collector shows up with the police at the inn and the fun begins. It turns out The Collector has been sent by Satan to get a key which contains the blood of Jesus Christ. This key just happens to reside with Brayker and after the sheriff is beheaded and the inn-keeper loses an arm The Collector creates an army of ghouls to get them. Wild right? It's only just begun. Mayhem ensues and ghouls get shot in the eye. While the ghouls re-group the action turn to dream-like states The Collector creates as a means to turn the people against each other... you know you like it.
Though the body count on this one is relatively low, it's still pretty good. Though he's now moved on to bigger and better Tit-antics, Billy Zane got his start doing shit like this and he's fucking awesome. At one point he does a cowboy dance to mock the characters inside and you'll probably rewind it to see it again. But like most siege movies like Night of the Living Dead, and Assault on Precinct 13 it runs into lulls in the action, they try to make up for that with dream like sequences created by The Collector as a means to turn the group against each other. Some of them are pretty funny--like the tittie bar, others are mediocre, but they're all a welcomed change of pace. Once you get over the hokiness of the Crypt Keeper shit, it's a good flick that's worth a look.
Our Rating System
Mr. Paul: "Watch out for big, bad, black mama at the end loaded with hand grenades and hominy grits... she'll fuck you up!"
Z-man: "That damn Cowboy Dance has to be seen to be believed. To hell with Jack Nicholson in 'As Good as It Gets', if that isn't an Oscar caliber performance- I'll take a bite out of a muledeer's ass."
Eagle Te: " For some strange reason, I really dug the shit out of this one!!! Billy Zane is unbelievably funny in this one and the Cowboy Dance had me laughing for hours! Definitely keep an eye out for the Aunt Jamima getting her arm ripped off scene!!!"
El Santo: "Lots of Blood, Zombies, and Naked Chicks, plus a great "background info" segment."
" Classic Crypt that will most definately please. The complex biblical symbolism was most provocative and profound...if only there was more titty."
If you dug this shit, you'll probably like the one released a about a year and a half later by our friends at Tales From the Crypt called BORDELLO OF BLOOD.