Run Time: 107 minutes
Production Company: Liberty Home Video
Director: Roger Evans
Starring: Red Mitchell (II), Yog Kothag, Various Minions of Yog
T & A: Hell Yes (UGLY TEET ALERT)
you think this is the real Quaid: It is.
Never Imitated... Never Duplicated...and thank Sweet Baby Buddha's Bouncing Left Nut for it. It's not every day that you stumble upon a horror flick that will simply take all preconceived definitions of shittiness and jam them up up your ass at Mach 5. Unfortunately for all of us here at NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, the latest entry into our pantheon of horror, FOREVER EVIL, is just such a film. FOREVER EVIL will quite frankly make your jaw drop with its unbelievable sequences of what director Roger Evans calls "special effects". O.K., I say fuck that. The effects in this film are SPECIAL in the same way that those kids that rode the short bus to school are. I shit you not- you'll say "Oh my God, I can't believe they did that!" so many times that it will turn into more of a mantra than a mere comment. Cartoons. Laser Show Photon Beams. Two Red Lightbulbs For Demon Eyes. Rubber Hands. Killer Dogs With Headlights. Stop Motion Animation. Lightning Scratched On To The Film Stock With A Needle. Hell yes baby- ALL THAT SHIT IS IN HERE! It really does challenge the mind to think that money was actually sunk into this project. Granted... I've probably sunk more money into playing After Burner as a kid than Roger Evans got to make this eternal turdfest of a project... but it STILL challenges the mind.
Oh yeah... THE PLOT. I almost forgot.
Well... this is where it gets really difficult. Trying to explain the plot of FOREVER EVIL is about as easy as squeezing peanut butter out of a circus dwarf's asshole. The whole thing doesn't make a damn bit of sense... but that's never stopped me before- so here goes:
The Demon God Yog Kothag (pronounced "Yawg - KOE - Thag" for those of you who give a damn) is struggling to break into our universe from his own dimension for a good old fashioned Reign of Terror. However, he's apparently having a bit of a tough time of it. His minions are few and far between (consisting of a magical dog and a re-animated corpse of some Civil War era corpse who looks like Jefferson Davis) and the activities of even the lowliest of witch or warlock hurts his chances of making it into this universe. Basically, Yog Kothag's powers of influence seem to limited to an old cabin in the middle of the woods. It just so happens that THIS SAME CABIN (long since abandoned by sensible folk) is going to be the location of a big party thrown by William Shattner look-alike Mark, his fiancee' Skanketta (proud bearer of the Ugliest Breasts On Earth), and all 3 of their friends. Well... to the shock of everyone who saw it- Yog Kothag proceeds to massacre the party attendees one by one. Everyone buys the farm but the sturdy chimp Mark. He manages to escape into the woods where, after a spirited thumb to the eye of the Confederate Zombie, he manages to get run over by a car. Once he regains consciousness in the hospital- he hooks up with a female reporter who apparently has some knowledge of Yog Kothag and his wicked ways. So, when she teams up with Mark- they combine forces to force the power hungry Yog Kothag (and his magical dog) back to whatever dimension he came from... or die trying.
Words just can't describe the Odyssey of Pain that we all embarked upon when we sat down and watched this bastard. It simply flipped our lids in all its horrendous stupidity... but we found ourselves inexorably compelled to finish the whole thing. Unlike some movies on our site that suck so badly we are forced to turn them off after only 30 minutes (hello JACK-O), FOREVER EVIL kept us hypnotized with a Shit Factor that simply leapt off the scale. Some of the scenes were so completely terrible, the actors so fucking stupid, and the special effects SO EMBARASSING that it actually became somewhat of an entertaining watch. Make no mistake- FOREVER EVIL is an absolutely attrocious flick, but I can safely say that it is the best ONE STAR movie here at NOTC that I have ever seen. I am proud to induct this bean-eating son of a bitch into our SHIT LIST. Welcome Home, Yog Kothag!
Our Rating System
Mr. Pog Sothap: "The opening brought back memories of Solaris... so that kept me going for about 35 seconds... then Z-Man and Eagle Te just wouldn't shut it off. I admit, I was drawn in at first, but I quickly came to my senses. They need help... serious help."
Ziggity Zog Mog M'Kak:" Legend has it that Southwestern Tribes of Indians screen FOREVER EVIL as a rite of passage for young braves. Peace out to all my Navajo, Zuni, and Ute brothers out west... The Great Spirit knows that they are tougher than my stupid ass. At least they survived this one without permanent neural damage. "
Egg Nogg Te Tak:" Without a doubt one of the cheapest and worst movies ever reviewed by our slack asses!! The opening credits left me dumbfounded as images of the old Atari game Solaris raced through my mind and had me executing axe handle blocks to ward off the painful images of yore!! "
DEMON OF PARADISE: YE OLD SHIT LISTE INDUCTEE (8/8/98)
FOREVER EVIL writer Freeman Williams cited the works of H.P. Lovecraft as a major influence to his work on this film! Whoo! If want to learn more about H.P. Lovecraft and his demented world of ancient demons, cosmic horror, and general unpleasantness (and you know you do) check out the righteous H.P. LOVECRAFT ARCHIVES by clicking below! Yog Sothoth (the original extra-dimensional badass) will gladly fry your ass with The Silver Bolt for your troubles!