The Revenge of Laurie Strode
Halloween: Twenty Years Later
Run Time: 80 minutes
Production Company: Dimension Films / Nightfall Productions
Director: Steve Miner (Friday the 13th Part 2, Friday the 13th Part 3, Warlock, House)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Williams, Josh Hartnett, LL Cool J, and Chirs Durand as "Michael Myers"
T & A: Hell No
Mama Said: Knock You Out
There is no bigger fan of the Halloween series (a Hall of Fame member) than yours truly, Eagle Te. So when I heard a few months ago that there would be a seventh and final installment in the Michael Myers saga with everyones favorite original screaming teen victim Jamie Lee Curtis (what a set of lungs!), I naturally shotgunned a hot hershey squirt in my gi pants!! The wait is finally over and as you read this review, H2O should be playing in theaters as we speak!!! It has been a difficult wait as we here at Night of the Creeps have been bombarded with rumors that it would be PG-13 or that it was so bad as to be disregarded like the 3rd one entirely from the series. Eagle Te is pleased to report that those rumors are definitely false and that H2O is a worthy sequel in the Halloween series and could never in a million years be compared to the embarassing third enstallment!
In this seventh installment, we are warped 20 years after the SECOND one (the events in 4, 5 and 6 seem to be disregarded in this one) where Laurie Strode has moved to a swank, preppy part of California to live out a new identity as Keri Tate and hopefully put the events of that harrowing night behind her. In her new life, she is the principal of a preppy private school and attended by her 17 year old son and stocked full of Dawson Creek mutants in dorky school uniforms and policed by America's favorite security guard, LL Cool J!!! Everything seems to be perfect in Laurie's new life except for the fact that she is plagued by nightmares of her homicidal brother Michael returning to show her his latest set of sharp instruments for inflicting pain on hapless teenage flesh and ever evasive relatives (I'm telling you, all he wants is love....and maybe a blowjob and a cool Mulan Happy Meal....Did somebody say McDonalds??!!!!) !!! Unfortunately for Laurie, the fun begins again when Micheal very cleverly ransacks the deceased Dr. Loomis' office to find out her wherabouts and cashes in his frequent flyer miles to visit ol' sis and bury the hatchet so to speak!! Now for the good: Even though it took a little while for the kills to get going, Halloween fans won't be disappointed as Micheal doesn't seem to have lost a beat as he engages in the stalking and basic fucking up of his victims!! Also, the film does a good job of keeping the general tension of the Halloween films alive with Micheal's ghost white face appearing in every possible window opening behind the unsuspecting victim and several shots of his form walking silently past as the victim is preoccupied with something that won't seem too important to them looking back on it when they end up with a butcher knife in their skull!! Perhaps the best thing in the film is the more than gratifying end that puts an END to Micheal's reign of terror and leaves the viewer with no doubt that damn it, this is it!!!! Now for the bad: The film is incredibly short, there is no way it could have been longer than 70 minutes, so if you are going to see it, do yourself a favor and go to the matinee and not spend full price on this unbelievably short film! Also, the victim base is small but this is counterbalanced by the more than gratifying method Micheal employs in their demise!! There also seemed to be a rushed feeling to the movie, especially toward the end when Micheal is actively hunting Laurie and all those unfortunate enough to be trapped in the gates of the school. Its as if they were saying, " Okay, hurry up and kill these hapless turds and take on Laurie so that we can hurry up and wrap this series up." If I had to rate this film against the others in the series, I would say that it is probably the weakest of the six that matter (I don't count the 3rd!) simply by virtue of the low victim base and doesn't even come close to the original or the second which are simply phenomenal! This is not to say that it is bad, it CERTAINLY IS NOT!!!!! It is a worthy addition to the series by any standard, but realize that it is out to end the series (and does so admirably), not to leave you guessing whether there will be another. Go check it out and say goodbye to one of the greatest horror characters ever created....then go home and smack your sister a couple times in honor of Michael's memory!! Eagle Te approves!!!!!!
Our Rating System
Mr. Paul:" Michael Myers is back and he doesn't kill enough. Too many of the "big" stars were spared and the body count was relatively low. However, I have to admit that the ending is quite satisfying. Check a matinee. Paying for an opening night show might warrant a spinning backfist to the groin. "
Z-Man:" Although shorter than an episode of Dawson's Creek, HALLOWEEN: H20 is a fitting end to the beast that the "Halloween" series had become. Sure, the body count was a little low... but hell- don't forget that Michael Myers is in his FORTIES by now! If I can swing an axe like that when I'm 40... I'll consider myself a genuine Centrum Silver Man. Go fuck 'em up, Michael! "
El Santo:" This movie probably doesn't deserve this low of a rating, but it just felt like something was missing throughout the entire film!!! This movie was like a Size B titty: Looks great, but leaves you a little empty-handed!!! "
Eagle Te:" A worthy installment in this classic series!! The end is worth the price of admission by itself!! "
Ookla:" Definitely a sign that the slasher is not dead."
General Zod:"Fulfilling sequel, but half-assed slasher flick. If Mike had stuck with the sportswear motif initiated in the opening sequence and shoved a Rainbow Brite roller skate down Dawson girl's throat, it would have earned four stars easy. Laurie's 'I'm gonna fuck yo ass up' scene was satisfying, but Michael Myers seems to show too much emotion (overturning tables in anger and shit). Doesn't he sport William Shatner's pasty mug for a reason?"