Ice Cream Man
Run Time: 84 minutes
Production Company: A-Pix Entertainment, Inc.
Director: Norman Apstein (The Erotic Adventures of the Three Musketeers- WHOO!)
Starring: JoJo Adams, Zachary Benjamin, Lee Majors II, and Clint Howard as The Ice Cream Man
T & A: unconfirmed
You can send your hate mail to A-pix Entertainment, Inc. for unleashing
this bastard on the public. Keywords for this one are: Horror, Comedy,
children, mental-illness, food. As a whole it sucked. It goes a little
something like this.
Gregory sees the neighborhood Ice Cream Man get gunned down as a child. He
is put into some crazy house that would make anybody go insane where he's
tough to always be happy. Anyway, he gets released for some reason and
takes up the profession of Mobile Frozen Dairy Retail. He pretty much is a
psycho who kills people and puts them in Ice Cream. There are some high
points in the movie, but the rest of the movie is lacking.
A couple of quotes to give you a feel for the film:
"You little twerps have to realize you can't run from the Ice Cream Man."
"You're Ice cream!"
"That's what I call brain freeze."
There were also several amusing visual effects. At one point he attacks a
guy with a waffle iron and makes his face a waffle. Another time he picks
up a picture frame and holds it in front of his face to hide (something
you'd expect from scooby doo). He held a puppet show with these two cops
heads on ice cream scoopers. One of the cops was cool too. While in the
mental hospital looking for clues or something, he just starts capping the
patients for no real reason.
So, if you are disciplined enough to make yourself watch the crap, there's a couple of funny things to be had here.
-OOKLA THE MOK
Our Rating System
Mr. Paul: "A few good lines, and the unwarranted killing of mental patients may suck you in... but make no mistake: This movie is a piece of shit despite the fact that it stars Ron Howard's brother."
Ookla the Mok: " My first official pick turned out to be ass. But at least there was senseless killing of retards and a short puppet show with human heads."
ZERO FUCKING STARS
Special Guest Reviewer GODEN: "THIS MOVIE SUCKS. No nudity. No Gore. Nothing. I scream, you scream, we all scream: THIS MOVIE IS SHIT!"
ICE CREAM MAN: YE OLD SHIT LISTE INDUCTEE (6/21/98)