Invasion for Flesh and Blood
Year: 1996
Rated: R
Run Time: 90 minutes or so
Production Company: Visual Experience Productions
Director: Warren F. Disbrow (A Taste For Flesh & Blood 2: Raising Hell)
Starring: Kathy Monks, Warren Disbrow Sr., Adrienne D'Accardi, Marilyn Ghigliotti (of CLERKS fame)
T & A: Hell Yes!!!
Jump Back: Wolf Pack Attack!

"Traveling Light Years for a Delicious Human Meal!"

If you shit your pants when Tae Kwan Do Strikes, or if you just shit your pants, then you ought to consult your proctologist. However, if you enjoy Incubus, monsters from outerspace, rednecks getting their dicks torn off, and the endless search for pussy... INVASION FOR FLESH AND BLOOD will slake your thirst for perverted misadventure. Props to the team of experts over at VEP for putting this one together. Here is a group of movie lovers up in New Jersy that decided, "We can do this shit too!" And they know the proper elements to employ in order to create a good time: Tits, Explosions, Random Kills, Lots of Kills, Tits, Drunken Rednecks pissing on monsters feet... did I mention Tits? Well it has those too. I must hand it to these guys... they put on quite a show.

Before I break my neck kissing the filmmaker's ass, I ought to fill you in on the mysterious element of movie making Galeb-Duhr likes to call: THE PLOT SUMMARY. Many years ago alien beings headed to Earth in order to kill, mame, and cause all sorts of (Halloween) havoc. The U.S. Government agency in charge of thwarting alien threats was called in to eliminate them. Heading to their underground lair The Super Psychic (Super Psychic) & T. Rex (Bam Bam Bigelow) sought to exterminate the alien (Dennis the) menace by any means necessary... even if it meant taking their own lives. No tits, but many explosions later, the alien menace was destroyed and Super Psychic & T. Rex were dead. Or so everyone thought! Turns out Super Psychic wasn't killed in the blast, however, neither were the aliens. Now one of them is one the loose and killing everyone he can get his slimey little paws on.

That was the wrap-up from what was apparently the prequel to this quirky high stakes poker game where in Seven Card Stud you Win, Lose, or Die! Enter a group of buddies heading into the woods to drink a few beers, have a few laughs, and film a documentary on a mysterious witch legend they'd recently heard about. On their way they're accosted by the monster and all are killed... that is all but one, who we'll call, I don't know, Moe. He only survived because the Super Psychic escaped from the hospital and made it her personal crusade to kill this monster (but not before she killed an exhusband of hers for years of abuse). Super Psychic and Moe reluctantly team up and head out to kill the monster.

Now I could guide you through the occurances of the film step by step and further assure you that this flick is cool as hell, but what's the point in that. It'll take away the shock and surprise of most of it. Make no mistake, this movie is cool as hell. It's made by cheap horror lovers for cheap horror lovers. There's blood, guts, girls taking off their clothes for guys at their windows with cameras. Now where can you find debauchery like that other than your local Wal-Mart? Give it a shot and help some independent filmmakers out. They need beer money just like you and me.

-MR. PAUL con un cinque di Vodka

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "This movie reminded me of the time Evil E hanging with a freak one night... he fucked the bitch with a flashlight... That's a metaphor for the entire movie, you retarded apes!"

Z-man: "I know what you did last summer. You were at Dragon Con. Lucy Lawless told me, right after I hit her in the tit with a POKEMON collector's pog."

Eagle Te: "While not as catchy a title of the XXXtravaganza "Invasion for Tits and Ass," Invasion for Flesh and Blood ranks as probably the funniest cheap ass independent horror flick we have ever seen. A guy gets his cock and balls ripped off TWICE by the monster and we get to see countless scenes of cheap ass gore effects and priceless facial expressions...Who could ask for anything more?"