shopping costs you
an arm and a leg!

Chopping Mall

Year: 1986
Rated: R
Run Time: 77 minutes
Prodution Company: Trinity Pictures
Director: Jim Wynorski
Starring: Kelli Moroney, Tony O' Dell, Russell Todd
T & A: Hell Yes
Grimlock: No Like Kisses

"Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg."

1986: A time of chaos and unnerving confusion. Those Red bastards are still a major threat and people don't know whether to shit or cry; either way, at any moment they could be blown off the face of the Earth! The Lakeside Mall is fully aware of these growing dangers, so they set up a new kind of security system to protect their mall after hours. This system is like nothing the world has ever seen. A new automated sentry to replace Harold, the loveable old security guard of yesteryear. That's right: Robots. These new robots are equipped with lasers (yes, I said lasers!) which are meant to paralyze and a net to entangle a perpetrator while the police are notified. But how do they tell the difference between a burglar and, say, the janitor? Easy. Every employee has been issued an id badge which the robots can easily read and which identifies them as an employee of the Lakeside Mall.

Sounds like technology has finally worked to our advantage, doesn't it? Looks like the Lakeside Mall is now safe and sound, right? Wrong. The first night the new robots are put into action a terrible storm hits and the electrical system is struck by lightning! Naturally the robots have turned evil and the guns no longer just stun. The next logical step for the robots, of course, is to go on a killing spree on this, the night that a group of teenagers who work at the mall decide to have their throw down, drink and fuck until morning shindig in the local furniture store. However, it is spolied when one of them is blasted by the robots. Now the kids have to fight off the sinister robots to stay alive using a myriad of weapons and items they find in the mall stores.

This gem is one of those you've seen in the horror section since you were about eight years old, but never had the balls to pick up. Well jackass... the time has come for you to step out of those pink panties and be a man! You're old enough to make decisions for yourself and you can decide on your own whether or not this is worth your while instead of settling for Mama-Sanšs rental of ERNEST SUCKS A DICK. CHOPPING MALL has a concept which is perfect on paper and not too bad in the delivery. Teenagers are fornicating, a girl gets her ass burnt and her head blown up, and the geeky guy scores! Did I mention the robots have lasers? Fucking lasers! I need not bother say more. Just watch it. CHOPPING MALL is a good addition to any Bad Movie Fest. Dig it!

-Mr. Paul

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "Exploding heads, killer robots, and fornication... what's not to love?"

El Santo: "This movie has all my dreams wrapped up into one shit kicking good time... YOU MUST RENT THIS FILM!"

Z-man: "Malls just make the best setting for carnage. Especially when there are half-naked women running from KILLER ROBOTS in them. Watching a droid shoot the Playboy bunny off a girls panties with a LASER CANNON makes me proud to be an american!"

Eagle Te: "Ahhh Yes. Fornicating teenagers trapped inside a mall patroled by homicidal, laser armed, Tandy Security Robots."