Maximum Overdrive
Year: 1986
Rated: R
Run Time: 97 minutes
Production Company: DEG
Director: Stephen King (Eternal Evil, Hostile Takeover)
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Laura Harrington
Music By: AC/DC (featuring Puffy Combs, MA$E, and OUTKAST)
T & A: Hell No
Blood Type: Red
Battleship: Sunk

"Match Metal To Man, The Machine Wins!"

Merciless engines of destruction pounding sanguine flesh into oblivion. Godless juggernauts of cold-wrought iron tearing delicate tissues assunder. Oh yes, whiplash tool sex on the farm was always a magical affair... especially for Yammy, the sheep with the hollow eyesocket. But alas, those memories of bleating livestock and the cotton gins who loved them had largely faded away into obscurity. However, like briney douche on a warm Summer's eve, these happy memories came flooding into my mind last Thursday when I saw "WHEN GOOD SHIT GOES BAD VII" on FOX. Seeing a goat trying to lay down the old rear-entry ram on an industrial strength chipper shedder just made my nuts tingle: and that right there ensured that MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE would soon find its way on to our Shit Nanny Whore Fest that is NIGHT OF THE CREEPS. Just like every red-blooded American, I like seeing things being killed by machines. My father liked seeing things being killed by machines (that's why he worked at Disney World). My father's father... well, he had his scrotum ground up by the mechanical bull's rusty love cog backstage at FARM AID. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that seeing machines destroy meat with extreme prejudice is an American tradition that we here at NOTC justly uphold. Have a problem with that, you pinko commie fag? Eat a dick.

Besides being the "feel good hit of the summer", MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is a heart-worming tale of machines across the globe rising up to smite their sin-stained humanoid overlords. This Revolution of the Machine is accomplished by everyone on earth farting at exactly the same time: sending up billowing clouds of noxious rectal discharge into the upper atmosphere. This horrible maelstrom of tainted love wreaks havoc with Earth's machines: sending them on violent homicidal binges from which there is no escape. Vending machines send cans of ice cold TAB hurtling into human skulls at supersonic speeds. Lawnmowers prowl the yards of suburbia in search of warm flesh to chew. SPACE HARRIER lures you in with 99 credits and then shocks your ass dead. And, (of course) huge tractor trailer trucks patrol America's superhighways, grinding the cancer that is man under their 18 wheels of tough love. Welcome to paradise.

This is the world that faces our motley crue of heroes in MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. Trapped inside a delapidated Truck Stop by a swarm of pissed off big rigs, bulldozers, and military vehicles: this grizzled band must do their best to hold off the steely Legion of the Cog. Travelling bible salesmen, hitch-hikers, truck drivers, newlyweds, ex-cons, snotty nosed Little Leaguers, and retarded waitresses are all united in their battle against the machines of America. Of course, the fucking arsenal that the twisted truck stop owner JUST HAPPENED to have stashed in the basement helps a whole hell of a lot. LAW rockets, M-16s, and vintage canned hams are all used to devastating effect while defending this last vestige of humanity.

But who will survive, and what will be left of them?

Besides "Who Farted?", that's the question that we all wanted to know the answer to. And damn it all to hell if we didn't enjoy the first half of this flick like sonsobitches. The random scenes of mechanical holocaust that peppered the first part of the movie were fucking classic. The vending machine that wiped out an entire little league baseball team (after shooting the coach in the nuts and then, after dropping him to his knees, putting a can of FANTA in his brain) was damn near perfect! Easily the highlight of the fucking flick, and well worth 3-4 rewinds. Seeing an ATM machine call Stephen King an asshole was pretty cool, too... but it in no way rivalled the scene where TOY 'R' US semi turns a terrified truckdriver into 200 pounds of all-beef fragmentation patty. Fucking badass!

Unfortunately, the high-powered montage of machines-gone-bad just doesn't last. After the first 30 minutes, all of our characters are holed up in the Truck Stop, and shit hits the brakes. Sure, they ward off gas-hungry semis, renegade bulldozers, and the special forces army jeep (whose auto-firing M-60 machine gun is responsible for 75% of the onscreen kills in this flick) with their own arsenal of weaponry... but it somehow seems to drag just a bit. The "siege scenario" which usually gets mega-points here at NOTC just loses a lot of impact when its just a bunch of driverless trucks driving around tooting their own horns. Maybe if the trucks could transform into huge fucking robots and battle for the Earth's bountiful supply of energon atop Hoover Dam: THEN we'd have a ultra-classic. However, as it stands, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE starts out hard and fast, but goes limp before delivering anything genuinely satisfying. Funny... your girlfriend said the same thing about you yesterday after I BROKE HER FUCKING PELVIS WITH MY SUPER SPERM. Man meat, hooooooo!


Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "As an indication of how this movie was we all woke back up during the credits. Don't pay money for this because you can see it any Saturday afternoon on TBS's Movies for Guys that like Dick."

Z-man: "If you get a hard on when THE KING OF MONSTER TRUCKS issues an edict, then this is definitely the fucking flick you've been craving. Some might feel a tad disappointed after the flick shoots its load in the first 30 minutes, but MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is still worth a look: especially when tag teamed with a sure-fire hit like, well... ALCOHOL or PUSSY! "

Eagle Te: "One of my favorite senseless horror flicks from the eighties! This movie proved that a can of Diet Rite CAN KILL!"

El Santo: "Who dosen't enjoy seeing machines turn the tables on mankind and force them into slave labor at the local gas station/military depot?!?! If you don't you're a commie... or gay!!!!"