Mutant Species

Year: 1995
Rated: R
Run Time: 95 minutes
Production Company: A-PIX ENTERTAINMENT
Director: David A. Prior (Killer Workout, Mardi Gras For The Devil, Lock & Load)
Starring: Dottor Rossi, Powers Boothe, Wilford Brimley
T & A: Hell No
Fucked a Bitch with: a flashlight

"Mutant Feces!"

What can you say about a movie like Mutant Species. I mean hell, the title alone kicks ass and even though everyone else hated it, I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVED IT! Why? What could be so cool about this turd if the entire NOTC crew felt that it was a definite shit list inductee? Well let me tell you why. It's because it finally revealed that Z-man and the Borrower were involved in some sick, twisted....

"Hey! Who the hell are you? And what's with that gay ass costu..." SMACK!

"Silence Bitch. I am THE BORROWER and you've been smoking a fat cock if you think I'm going to let the details of my affair with Z-Man be revealed by some cheap ass Kung Fu villian like yourself. Prepare to be violated!"

"Hey bastard, my name is Eagle Te and 'yo better recognize! Two snaps up and talk to the palm heel strike, bitch!"

"HAHAHAHA! Your puny technique is nothing more than a boil on my that's about to get lanced!"

"Hey, what's up with that 8-headed dildo? Oh, oh God- No...NOOOOO!!!!!"

"HAHAHA! Bon appetite, my pet! And as for all you fuckers reading this review, the borrower has a little something for you. Instead of a nice, twisted Eagle Te review of Mutant Species, here is a demonstration of my powers....Enjoy my "borrowed" review of METAMORPHOSIS: THE ALIEN FACTOR. If you want a sneak preview, close your eyes...what do you see? That's right, bitch. NOTHING!!!! HAHAHAHA! Borrower say, "EAT SHIT!!!"

-Eagle Te

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul:"A-PIX has fucked us again. Remeber kids, we are professionals. Don't try this at home."

Z-man:"This goes out to my homie Slick Rick. For those who don't like it: EAT A DICK. Now back the fuck up off my Busy B style: we have a beautiful relationship that you just can't understand. You're just Jealous! Now suck it."

Eagle Te:"Easily one of the worst flicks I have ever seen. Mutant Species, Eat Shit and Die!"

Merciful Buddha!