Shakma
Nemesis

Year: 1990
Rated: R
Run Time: ?? minutes
Production Company: Quest Entertainment
Director: Tom Logan (Dream Trap, The Night Brings Charlie)
Starring: Christopher Atkins, Amanda Wyss, Roddy McDowell
T & A: Hell No
10-Hit Combo: LP, LP, LP, RK, RK, RK, RP, RP, RP+LP



"The World's Most Agressive Primate... JUST GOT MAD!"






There is so much more to Shakma than just a cool premise...there is a distinct history to this flick. When we first found this treasured gem in a small town video store about twenty miles away, plans went into effect immediately to obtain what had to be a guaranteed hit...I mean it had enhanced aggression primates attacking Dungeons and Dragons retards as they played their gay little games for God's sake!!! Based on this premise alone it should recieve two stars! "Ahhh, too bad Moklor!!! Your Cloak of Indifference will not protect you from the vicious attacks of a psychotic primate shredding your face and taking a hot steaming shit on your breastplate!!!" Unfortunately, when we finally did get our hands on the gem that is Shakma, El Santo's "new" VCR decided to eat the fucking tape and we were back to square one. Maybe next time El Santo shouldn't buy a BuddhaStar VCR with a "Made in Kampuchea" sticker on the back, I don't give a fuck if Family Dollar is practically giving them away two for a dollar! Everything seemed completely fucked until we were blessed by a truly gracious offer by one of our trusted viewers to send us his very own copy of Shakma that he had recorded off HBO...in exchange for a herd of Laotian whores skilled in the oral tonsil tickler tradition of their ancestors. Needless to say, all it took was a call to my brother, Poon Te, (a certified 5th degree pimp) to arrange for the delivery of the lovely ladies to our newly knighted member, Sir Dean, and before we knew it we had a copy of our beloved Shakma in our greedy little hands. Now that you are properly briefed, let the review begin...

Shakma is the touching tale of a lab intern and his laboratory monkey....gentle Shakma. There is only one problem, Shakma is the recipient of cruel experiments on his aggression levels that turn gentle Shakma into a murderous beast whose only love is carnage and whose only passion is pain. When Shakma inevitably goes nuts and attacks the interns, Shakma is quickly sedated and selected for being put to sleep. However, mayhem ensues when Shakma escapes and decides to exact his murderous revenge on the unsuspecting interns who are foolishly playing a game of fantasy roleplaying in the empty lab building!

This movie's premise is actually a little better than the movie actually is, pure and simple. While it doesn't live up to the absolute coolness of its plot, the movie has a strangely captivating feel that will keep you glued to the screen until the very end. The redeeming factor of this movie is that the Shakma attack scenes are absolutely first rate and are easily high on the rewind factor and replay ability factor. Shakma moves FAST as a stolen Ferrari and attacks with unparalled abandon...once he gets a hold of your ass that's it bitch!!!!! This movie really is fun and the hysterical face on the black intern when the elevator doors open and Shakma ambushes his face is worth the price of rental alone!! There just isn't much more to say about this film, it's not bad but it's also not the best. Rent this one in combination with a four star flick and you won't go wrong!!!! Te APPROVES!!!!!

-EAGLE TE

Our Rating System


Mr. Paul: "Gamemaster... a baboon is trying to fuck my leg what should I do? Oh, I'll roll to Save vs. Red Ass... SHAKMA is an oddity to say the least. If you can find it in your town (which you probably can't) watch it for the angry baboon door smashing scenes. They're hilarious."


Z-man: "Take the funniest parts of WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK VII, add a dash of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, then remove any leftover titty. THAT, my friends, is the essence of SHAKMA... Straight-up Baboon Holocaust."


El Santo: "A fucking Baboon....I never would have guessed that a fucking baboon could prove to be so much fun! This movie proves that if you poke a monkey too many times, you can make it do some cool shit. Lots of fun to watch, but there's nothing special to it (unless you like red asses)!"


Eagle Te: A pretty damn funny movie but one that should be rented in conjunction with a can't miss like Sleepaway Camp 2 or the original Slumber Party Massacre!!! Amazing animal attack scenes!!!