Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988)
Nightmare Vacation II
Run Time: 82 minutes
Production Company: Double Helix Pictures
Director: Michael A. Simpson
Starring: Brian Patrick Clarke, Pamela Springsteen, Kendall Bean
T & A: HELL YES!!!
People, LISTEN TO TE, this movie rocks serious ass!!! If you've seen the first one and were genuinely disturbed as we were, then you will not be disappointed as the second one completely blows the first one out of the water!!! And it wasn't just the fact that we watched this one after the horrendous Slumber Party Massacre 4, a couple of us (Z Man and El Santo) had already witnessed its glory and it was only just last weekend that the rest of the filth got around to watching it as a cohesive mass (kind of like the eagle turd I chunked this morning!!) Anyway, the entire crew was rolling with laughter as Angela took out her frustrations on the unwitting members of the camp and their raging hormones. Before I get into why this movie is a MUST RENT, a brief plot synopsis:
Angela, our beloved freak from the first film, is all grown up now and has somehow gotten onto the counselor staff at a summer camp that is naturally stocked full of horny, ready to fuck teenagers and prepubescent little bastards, equally as horny and willing to take photos of their older peers in action!! Basically, terror ensues as Angela one by one eliminates these hormone fueled punks until the final survivor must take her on one on one in a final bout for survival!!
Now for the part that matters: THIS MOVIE IS SIMPLY AWESOME!!! No shit, people, the kills in this movie are funny as hell and you will rewind each one of them at least once as Angela uses every means at her disposal to restore moral order to the camp. Her graceful presence is enough to fill the cabin with silence as she breaks up the heathen panty raids with the cold stare of moral justice. When the teenagers are less than receptive to her discipline, she takes more draconian methods, like power drilling a young tart in the temple, or ramrodding anouther slut into an old outhouse shitter!! This scene is probably one of the best in the movie and watching her make the girl describe what is down there (namely shit, piss, and leeches) is a treat to watch again and again!! There are countless other scenes, such as the decapitation of the arresting sheriff's son from the first one...it is truly awesome!!! And if that's not enough for you ungrateful bastards, General Gogol from the James Bond films is actually the director of the camp....NOW HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT? This movie has it all: titties, awesome 80s music, and kick ass funny kills!!!
Now for a special tribute to Angela straight from the desk of Te's heart...Angela....This is hard for a master of the Ancient Order of Kwangtung Fist to say, but here goes...Baby, I'm in love with you!!! All those people in that bad camp just didn't understand the true woman you are...but Te does baby. With every kill that you performed, the more I fell for you. Come on Angela, give Te a chance. Pamela Springsteen, you are a hot and sexy babe that Te truly feels a KI connection with. That night I dreamed of you chasing me through the dojo with a large hatchet....but you didn't kill Te....naw baby, you dropped your hatchet and then ripped off my gi pants with a buzzsaw, and let Big Daddy Eagle give you a taste of the Sweet Te. It was poetry, Angela, written in the juices of Te upon your bearded easel. I haven't been more moved since Jackson from Bloodsport recovered from his coma and I finally achieved the power of the kung fu action grip!!! Seriously, Pamela Springsteen, if you are out there or somebody who knows her personally is, email us....the NOTC staff are your biggest fans and would consider it the highest honor to recieve a respone from you. Eagle Te loves you baby...Ciao.
Our Rating System
Mr. Paul: "Holy shit! This movie is awesome. Shitty campers beware, Angela is ready to burn you alive. So don't you go fornicating in the woods!"
Z-man: "An instant classic that was made even better by the fact that I ACTUALLY camped in the campgrounds used for the film (in Hard Labor Creek Campgrounds, in North Georgia) Jesus.... I actually slept within spooging distance of ANGELA's sleeping cot! WHOOO DAMN! For that, *I* get four stars!"
El Santo: "This is what all camp movies should be like!! Good clean fun, and a lot of ass kicking action!!! Whether it's acid in the face or an ax in the neck, this movie makes for some funny shit!!!"
Eagle Te: "THIS movie is a classic. Definitely check out the (literal) camper barbecue! MMMM....Ribs!!!!!"
Ookla The Mok: "Absolutely fucking awesome. Great lineage, great kills, great titty. Part of a balanced breakfast, order now and get a free 2 liter of Tahitian Treat, what can you say? It's Greeeeaat!"
General Zod: "When violence becomes an art, General Zod tingles inside. Doctors say its indigestion, but what do they know...those faggoty-ass nerds."
This Honky Loves Titty