The Slumber Party Massacre
Sleepless Nights

Year: 1982
Rated: R
Run Time: 78 minutes
Production Company: Santa Fe Productions
Director: Amy Holden Jones
Starring: Michelle Micheals, Robin Stille, Michael Villella, Andree Honore
T & A: Hell Yes
U.G.L.Y: You Ain't Got No Alibi

"You Bring The Pizza, I'll Bring The Drill!"

While Trish's parents are out of town what she going to do? That's right... Slumber Party! Trish decides to invite all her friends over for a fun filled evening of sex, drugs, and a rock -n- roll strip show... that is, everyone except the new girl. You see no one really likes the new girl because she's different and plays basketball well. Realizing she isn't exactly welcome at the slumber party the new girl opts to stay at home watching horror movies (like us) and preventing her perverted little sister from sampling the latest in high grade pornography (like Ookla the Mok). With this small tidbit of information on this movie you're reeling. Does it get any better than this? Yes. How could it possibly get any better than this? A drill wielding maniac, that's how! Seems as though a psychopath with a propensity towards power tools has escaped from the local booby hatch and is headed towards young Trish's house. Why Trish's? Because every self respecting teenage male and maniac knows that Trish's house is the place for young ladies to get drilled... (we like to call that a pun). Now Trisch's house is under siege by a maniac, and not even the pizza guy is safe from the heartless drill. There only chance is the new girl, her cunning wit and will to survive.

This film, my friends, is kung-fu genius. Young, sexy women dressed in the least amount of clothes humanly possible, attacked by a drill--not axe, not knife, not gun--wielding maniac sets an atmosphere which is unparalleled, as far as movies go. There's a certain charm which is only attainable by women with practically no clothes on. Not to mention, they are actually quite good looking. I think the black chick was my favorite. She was strong and indiscriminate. When they had pizza with eyes on it, she ate it. Sure it wasn't a normal part of her culture, but she was willing to adapt and try new things. Oh yeah, she also had titties which I can't quite explain. They weren't the most beautiful I'd ever seen, but they had a hypnotic quality to them which should not go unnoticed. You have to admire the quality of the titty in this one. Though there isn't enough actual nudity in this one, it's made up for by how attractive the girls really are. In the later installments of the Slumber Party Massacre series the quality of the titty deteriorates, and they become more bizarre. The anomaly that is Blue Meanie is a fine example of how strange that dern titty becomes. The Slumber Party Massacre series is one that should definitely not go unnoticed. It is a gem in the waves of shit we watch week-in and week-out. Any self respecting horror fan should not miss this. Shit why not go out tonight and rent all three, and have a bit of a slumber party of your own.

-Mr. Paul, The Spell Check Wizard, and a Crack Pipe

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "Shameless nudity, shameless characterization of scared female characters, and it's written and directed by a woman. I love the eighties!"

Z-man: "Ahhh yes... I remember the good old days when Grandpa would open up a bag of Worther's Original Candies and we could see some ass in a horror movie and not feel guilty about it. This is classic old school shit! The original recipe SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE is a perfect reason why we love this stupid genre! A brilliant movie that is absolutely screwed in the ass by its sequel: SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 2!!! (I warn you ahead of time so you can't blame me for that shitter.)"

Eagle Te: "I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! This movie grabs you by the Grape Nuts from the very beginning and doesn't let go to till the very end!! Brilliant teenage plans such as 'Both of us are going to make a run for it; he can't get us both!!' make this one nonstop laughs as you know damn well he can get them both! Keep an eye out for the decapitated boyfriend in the make out Plymouth!!!"

Sookla the Kok: "Note to self: Get more produce."