Silent Night, Deadly Night
Year: 1994
Rated: R
Run Time: ???
Production Company: LIVE Video / TriStar Pictures
Director: Charles E. Sellier Jr.
Starring: Charles Dierkop, Lilyan Chauvin, Jonathan Best
T & A: Hell Yes
If God Din't Want Us to Eat Animals: He Wouldn't Have Made Them Out Of Meat



"SANTA'S HERE!"




Welcome to the wonderful world of dementia! Silent Night Deadly Night is the kind of movie you always see in the video store, but you're never sure whether or not to get it... well I'll tell you this: Get it today and watch it with those you love. It's gr eat.
It was about a week before Christmas and we came across it in our local Hits Video and decided to get into the holiday spirit and pick it up. We were not disappointed. The movie started with a scene of a guy in a Santa suit robbing a convenience store, this sets the dark mood for the rest of the film. It then cut to a family driving down a highway in a station wagon. They were discussing Santa coming and things like that. On their way they stopped to see Grandpa, who hasn't spoken for years. While the grown-ups go to discuss something, they leave little Billy to sit with Grandpa. Grandpa out of no where grabs Billy's arm and tells him the Christmas is evil, and Santa Claus will only bring pain. Then Grandpa returns to his old docile self. He came out of a trance of God knows how many years to tell him this... Now tell me that isn't foreshadowing. On their way home from the old folks home the family runs across a broken down motorist which is, get this, none other than Santa Claus. This wigs Billy's shit and he starts to freak out. Dispite his warning Billy's father stops the car to help. He promptly gets shot in the face, and then Billy's mom is raped and has her throat slit while Billy looks on from behind a bush. All this in the first fifteen minutes. We then follow Billy through his journey to the Nun-run orphanage, where he watches a nun loose her virtue, and draws pictures depicting Santa and his Reindeer getting slaughtered, and then into his late teens where he begins to work at a toy store. He's maintained a decent amount of sanity until this point (for a kid who saw his parents killed by Santa Claus). However he's forced to don the Santa suit for the store he loses his last grip on the strings of sanity. He then travels the town 'punishing' those who've been 'naughty'. He ends up decapitating some youngsters, mounting Daisy Duke, and thowing various people through windows. He eventually makes a return to the orphanage that has brought him so much pain. But I've given away too much as it is.
Silent Night, Deadly Night at a first glance is a generic horror flick. But if you go past that glance and take a deeper look inside you'll see a the thoughts of a derranged child and a sick and twisted writer of children's programing. This is an awesome movie. So good in fact we plan on making it a tradition next year. Any movie that spawns four sequels has got to have a good base. Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Some of the sequels sucked, but the firsts were fantastic. This is no different. See it. It's worth your time and your money. Blood, sex, and mistletoe.

-Mr. Paul

Our Rating System


Mr. Paul: "This film was written for us. Every second there was a new and even more fucked up scene. Nothing like seeing Santa commit nefarious deeds and shout 'Naughty!' while doing so. See it or you will be PUNISHED!"


Z-man: "I saw mommy raped by Santa Claus! Whoa, what a twisted flick! A lot of fun once the Santa murders begin-pretty fucking creepy before hand! A classic that is betrayed by it's sequels! Bask in the infernal glory that is SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT!!!"


El Santo: "Classic horror film with great death scenes and an overall creepy effect."


Eagle Te: "MY GOD!!! Santa rapes mommy, chops heads off sledding teenagers, and nuns put out!!! HELL YES!!!!"


General Zod: "HO HO HO - I say I'm eatin' like a MO FO - Crispies a la CO COA - chillin' like De SO TO - dancin' like a GO GO - runnin' in the SLO MO - fightin' at a DO JO - boat you gotta ROW ROW - bitch."