Starship Troopers

Year: 1997
Rated: R
Run Time: 129 minutes
Production Company: TriStar Pictures / Big Bug Pictures / Touchstone Pictures
Director: Paul Verhoeven
Starring: Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards (Woo-Hoo!), Neil Patrick Harris as "The Doog"
T & A: Hell Yes
Good Cop: Bad Touch

"A New Kind of Enemy... A New Kind of War"

Our scientists are working around the clock to develop new ways of torturing and extracting information from the bugs... Want to hear more? The time: The Future. The place: Klandatheu--An alien world located across the galaxy. The Enemy: BUGS! This is the perilous world of the future, where you place country in front of God, state before self, and fight until you die to ensure safety for those at home and your chance at citizenship. The bugs are a threat which must be dealt with in a cruel and unapologetic fashion. Total erradication is the only solution, so join the army. Sign up today.

When Johnny Rico's high school sweetheart joins the army after graduation he decides to follow her only to be dumped like a sour shit after some tequlia shooters. He later gets one of his squad members killed--in a beautiful display of shameless gore--and is hating life so he decides to run home to Mama's tit. New Flash: His home town gets hit by a meteor and his parents are erased of the face of the earth along with his home town... what does he do now? what does he want? Some Kenny, some titty, and blood! Rico gains his second wind and goes forth on his crusade to eliminate the bug threat while falling in love, and getting the guts of his friends and enemies splashed all over his uniform in the process.

This isn't a horror movie, and it's not really a B-movie as such, but it does contain the 3 elements which are vital to our enjoyment of a quality film of its genre: Titty, Gore, and non-stop killing. This flick is filled with non-stop disembowelment, napalm strikes, and the unwarrented fucking up of thousands. And when they're not killing there are shameless shower scenes and tent sex to keep the troops happy. We haven't seen a good alien infestation flick like this since Aliens and it leaves you reeling for days. It's the type of movie where you think: It'd be awesome if they chopped that guy's head off... but they'll never do it. Then they do. They never cease to surprise you at how far they'll go... "They sucked his brains out!" There's also an underlying fascist satire which is very entertaining--for you intellectuals out there that think there needs to be more to a movie then just tits and explosions. See this movie now... not tomorrow, not later today, right fucking now. You won't be disappointed, that is of course if unless you have a weak heart... but even then, you'll die happy.

-Mr. Paul

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "This is the kind of movie you can watch over and over again, and each time you notice a new an innovative killing that you didn't notice the first time around. Who could ask for anything more."

Z-man: "Made by Nazis for Nazis? Hmmm... The debate rages on. However, one thing we can all agree on is that those aliens can do some amazing things with those claws once they get ahold of succulent human flesh. Bon appetit!"

El Santo: "Denise Richards... Ahhhh, now there's an ass I'd like to rcok. The movie is pretty good, too!"

Eagle Te: "Without a doubt, one of the best and most enjoyable movies Eagle Te has ever seen!! An orgy of violence, hot militant women, and 80s-like disregard for all shreds of political correctness!! Eagle Te approves!!!!!"

Brother Phil: "The first sar goes to the bugs, the second goes to the guns, the third star goes to the abundance of gore, and the last two are for the titty! In the year 0 A.D. God sent Christ to the Earth. In the year 1997, God sent us Starship Troopers... God bless us, every one."

Ookla the Mok: "This is the movie we, as guys, have been waiting for. Girls if you want to know what's going on inside our heads... This is it."

General Zod:"Dragonfly decapitations, bitch."