Year: 1998
Rated: R
Run Time: 86 minutes
Production Company: Raucous Releasing Artisan Entertainment
Director:John Pipelow
Starring:Kevin Gage, Elizabeth Pefia, and (ABC)Dee Snider as "Captain Howdy"
T & A: Hell Yes
Salad: Tossed

Want to Come To A Party?

A Trip to Memory Lane:

Remeber the Hype!

Yes, we finally saw it... and it took us long enough. After all the hype this flick received on NotC in the months before its release and it didn't even come through our fucking state... at least not that we found. Since we're not stupid enough to travel ten hours to get out of the south in order to watch it, we had to wait for Strangeland to slime its way to video. In the time between its release and the night we watched it we heard only bad reviews. People making claims that this was the worst movie they'd seen or that they'd rather have Capt. Howdy pierce their dick with a dirty tooth pick than watch this fucking movie again. Despite it all we figured we owed it to ourselves, and to you (our loyal slaves) to watch this potential scrotum clamper.

Was it good? Did it bite dick? Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too? Well, before I can answer the question on everyone's mind I ought to re-cap the plot for those of you neophytes that missed all the hype:

In the town of Helverton there's a new kind of evil. A demented psycho by the name of Capt. Howdy is heading into chat rooms and luring the hot-ass teens of Helverton into his underground lair of piercing and torture by inviting them to a party. I realize that sounds far fetched... hot teens on the internet? Not fucking likely, however, horror is rarely true to life kids, that's why we like it. And when one of the hot teens happens to be Sargent Mike Gage's daughter, the shit hits the fan and everyone gets involved.

Through Lt. Gage's detective skills he discovers Howdy's hideout filled with creepy gadgets of torture and genital mutilation (courtesy of Marylin Manson's wardrobe) and finds his daughter locked up in a cage with her mouth sewn shut (a Captain Howdy original). Then he comes face to face with Captain Howdy himself... and let me tell you, when Dee reveals himself it's pretty impressive. Due to his obsession with pain and ritualistic rites of passage Howdy has obtained all manner of piercings (5 through the nose, bold and daring) all over his body and a tattoo that runs the length of his body and is intricately woven across one side of his body. Add some red Twisted Sister hair and you've got a pretty creative villain. Well Commander Gage beats him down in a relatively unimpressive battle and saves his daughter as well as several others that have various interesting things attached to their naked bodies.

Through the glorious plea of insanity Howdy ends up in a mental institution for four years where he turns into a bookreading Mormon that is, in fact, creepier than his Captain Howdy persona. Upon his release, Captain Howdy, now Carleton Hendricks, heads back home to find his house tagged, trashed, and in general disarray. On top of poor yard service he finds an angry mob waiting for him. Unsatisfied with merely condemning Mr. Hendricks to hell they decided to give him an express ticket there themselves. So a lynch mob led by Robert Englund busts up into Carleton's crib, beats the shit out of him, and drags him into the woods where they string him up on a tree in a creepy display straight out of "Birth of a Nation."

Due to the Captain's high threshold of pain he lives through the experience (shit, if he can live through being held up be his nipples for several days, a hangin' won't hardly phase him). In a matter of two or three hours he re-colors & styles his hair as well as replaces the 45 or so piercings all over his body (in four years most of the holes would've closed). After he's back to "normal" the Captain heads over to Englund's house to kick his fucking ass. He walks in on him slow gherkin to some weird school girl porno. Howdy beats his ass then tortures the fuck out of him. It pretty amusing when Howdy starts talking shit to Englund when he starts crying.

Lt. Colonel Mike Gage's daughter gets kidnapped again and he ends up in a final battle royale with Captain Howdy. I won't tell you whether or not Sgt. 1st Class Tail-Gunner Corporal Mike Gage wins or not, you've got to see the movie yourself.

Now that I've side tracked you for an hour with that plot summary, was it good? It wasn't bad. Most complaints that we received were about his monologues which were few and far between... and pretty damn funny. Dee Snider talking about the beautifully spiritual side of body mutilation rituals. It's impressive because it's Dee. On top of that the music was pretty cool as well. A bunch of new wave metal and hard core bands that bite the heads off of kittens and spit the blood in the face of Third Eye Blind and the Goo Goo Dolls.

But if that doesn't get you the excruciating torture scenes will. There are scenes of extensive torture to include 12" nails inserted into titties, hooks through nipples, mouths sown shut, bars through dicks, more hooks through nipples... This shit is not for the feint of heart. Ah, but it's quite refreshing. No shit, this movie isn't that bad. Maybe it's because we like Dee so much, perhaps it's our collective torture fetish, either way Stangeland is a truly creative and innovative title. This is new shit and though it wasn't the success that we thought it would be, Dee's still planning on putting out a Strangeland 2. So stay tuned.


Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "The dead seem so dreadfully dead when they're dead... a bit of wisdom from Captain Howdy."

Z-man: "Definitely not worthy of all the bad press it received from horror fans all across the nation, STRANGELAND is a suprisingly entertaining horror flick. Sure, the body count is low as hell and the melodrama is a bit too beefy for its own good... but there's enough graphic mutilation of the genitalia and scenes of naked women writhing in cages to satisfy the most jaded of you fartsucking microserfs out there. As for Dee? Sure his monologues are pretentious as hell, but they just add to the rustic charm of his character... just like that 8" metal bar through his dickhead."

Eagle Te: "Surprisingly entertaining if only for the kick ass antics and diatribes by Dee Snider, everybody's favorite big hair rocker from Twisted Sister! All of the stupid ass chat shit, the awesome performance by Robert England as the head of the vigilante band, and the hilarious way Dee looked once he became a mild mannered, rehabilitated convict make this one well worth the effort but only if you are a big fan of Dee...otherwise it might seem a little tedious."