Urban Legend
Mixed Culture (working title)

Year: 1998
Rated: R
Run Time: ?? minutes
Production Company:Phoenix Pictures, Tri Star Entertainment
Director: Jamie Blanks
Starring: Alicia Witt, Rebecca "The Noxema Girl" Gayheart, Jared Leto, Robert Englund
T & A: Hell No
Love You: Long Time

"It Happened To Someone Who Knows
Someone You Know... You're Next."

We've all heard them before. The story of the young girl who, while driving home, is repeatedly high beamed by a following car all the way home....only to find out the driver hit his high beams whenever the killer was rising out from behind the back seat or the classic killer calling from the upstairs bedroom story that we've all heard as small children! Yes, the vaunted Urban Legends are as integral a part of American culture as cheap, demeaning sex and Quarter Pounders. That is why we here at Night of the Creeps were so excited when we heard that there was to be a movie based on this premise and also starring Robert Englund, who still has our respect even though his Freddy character was essentialy hamstrung after Will Smith's vaunted social outcry in the moving song "Nightmare On My Street!" Yes, after that coup de grace children across the land slept a little easier...even a young Eaglet Te was sleeping soundly in his KISS sleeping bag with visions of sugarplums and heavy bags dancing in his head after he heard this powerful epic in music history! But I know you're drooling to find out whether or not Rebecca Gayheart gets naked and dances rhythmicly to "Smooth Criminal", so let me delay you no further and give you a quick plot summary. Things are not all they seem at Pendleton College. A psychotic killer is offing young college students by the bushel by taking everyone's favorite urban legends and bringing them to life. That's right, kiddies, you're not going to get off easy with a jump from the bushes and a quick axe to the head...the killer is going to have a little fun first by scaring you shitless, be it by rising up from the backseat while you're listening to your John Tesh CD or by calling you from the upstairs bedroom to give you that same sinking feeling you had when you saw Leonard Part Six before he descends and chops your nuts off! The object of the killer's affection is a young and supple redhead named Natalie who, with the aid of a young college reporter named Paul and her friend Brenda, must get to the bottom of who is behind these murders before the killer gets around to chopping her young head off.

This movie is a bit of an enigma. On the one hand, the idea behind the killer and some of the kills is absolutely first rate but the execution of this leaves a lot to be desired. For instance, when most of the kills take place, such as the decapitation scene at the beginning, we don't get to see a head flop off! Instead, we are cheated when the camera cuts away to a scene of the axe blade slamming mercilessly through the window. C'mon, if I want suggestiveness, I'll watch Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote with all her sexy teasing...thats right...ride that bike down the cove baby, you know Te loves it when you tease him! In a horror movie, however, I want to see a little gore and not just the punishing after effects. There are a few scenes that do show the gore during the death scenes, such as when the dean is run over onto tire spikes by his own Mercedes after he's been hamstrung. This scene and a few of the others where the gore runs free rank as the best in the film but more often than not this is not the case and the movie suffers as a result. But as a matter of fact, that is about the worst of it. The film is actually pretty damn enjoyable and we had a good time watching it. This movie does not suck by any stretch of the imagination, despite the sometimes apparent lack of good gore. There are some truly hysterical moments in this movie, such as when Natalie walks in on her goth girlfriend getting fucked in the ass by her Marilyn Manson look alike boyfriend or when the dog gets put in the microwave will definitely give you a good chuckle. Its hard to judge where this movie finally does fall in the horror scheme of things. While much better than "I Know What You Did Last Summer", it still can be catagorized as a Scream rip off. I say this only because we are treated with teens and college students who look like they stepped out of a Tommy Hilfigger ad (although the bitch with the black rimmed glasses at the end was simply uglier than sin!) and it made it seem like it was a high school rather than a fucking college. I guess this film could be seen through the light of the slew of also ran Pulp Fiction inspired flicks that came out for damn near two years, some were pretty damn good but nowhere as good as the film they were inspired by or tried to emulate. The killer, when revealed, was a bit of a groaner and the subsequent acing made Te cringe harder than when Z Man caught Eagle Te renting "Lesbian Sluts of Shaolin" at the local porno video store...wait a minute, what the hell was he doing there!?!? Anyway, in the end this film won't break any new or inspired ground in the horror movie scene (like "John Carpenter's Vampires" will most assuredly do) but it remains an enjoyable and VERY watchable movie to laugh at and not take too seriously...kind of like the Golden Girls. EagleTe approves!!!!

-Eagle Te

Our Rating System

Mr. Paul: "Good date movie, but not quite the horror spectacle it could be. The kills are creative but they are a bit lacking in gore. If a head is chopped off it is alluded to... that kind of shit keeps this movie from being any good (the Dawson's Creek cast doesn't help either), but I guess it'll tide you over until Strangeland and Vampires come out."

Z-man: "Is anybody else tired of the sanitized PARTY OF FIVE slashers? Personally, I'm shocked and offended that these Hollywood starlets are clinging to the notion that they are worth a shit without ripping all their clothes off and getting ass fucked by dinosaurs. When, oh when will horror get back to its core family values: GRATUITOUS NUDITY & FULL ON GORE? This movie sadly has neither of these. It's lacking overall... but still a passable "date" movie... IF YOUR DATE IS OOKLA THE MOK."

El Santo: "Yea, It's just another spin off of Scream, but you know what, It's actually a lot of fun! It really dosen't have any slow moments, and the killings are pretty good! However, If you want a true horror movie, Go see Jason Vs. Random High School Fuck Ups...If you want a "Date" horror movie, take her to see this shit!"

Eagle Te: "Kick ass idea but loses something in execution. A decent flick though and definitely worth a look....if only to see the goth girl take it in the poop chute."

General Zod: "You remember in middle school how Mrs. Quiverbush would xerox old test copies over and over and the quality would just get worse and worse? That's pretty much the same story here, except you don't get back a sticker that says 'stupenderrific'. Don't get General Zod wrong, though. With a Dawson's Creek lynching and an update on Life Cereal's Mikey, this movie does have its memorable moments, but then again so does getting your dick stuck in a pencil sharpener.......probably."