"Doctor Octagon Would Like
To Thank All His Bitches"


Our French Connection ARC VILE at GOREZONE, the folks over at BADMOVIES.ORG, Yoshimitsu, those two-bit punks at Coming Attractions, "The Original Creep" Stephen Marshall, Dynamite Dan Sachar @ ABSOLUTE HORROR and all of his robotic voodoo power, Demon Prince Mortado and every nugget of his atomic filth, Pimp Master Chris @ STOMP TOKYO, Magic E-Mason DEMON-6, our uber-skank cum guzzling psycho slut Astry K, Twisted Sister's Own Dee Snider, Zombie Holocaust Survivor Kain Vuong, purveyor of filth Sue Procko at Anchor Bay Entertainment, Splatter Fiend Chris Hartley and his Video Graveyard, White Cherry Slush, Star Man, Amazon, King Slender, Fighter Hayabusa, Kin Corn Karn, Giant Panther, "Old Man River" Freeman Williams (a.k.a. DR> FREEX), Professor Yog Kothag, "they still call me" Bruce Duncanson, the foaming pack of hyneas that write YELLOW DOG magazine, Mecha-Trae Dean, Lucifer Liam, Gunshot Gerd's fat Roody Poo ass, the rest of the knotty headed assholes over at our Canadian Branch office HELLFEST, Phife Dog and all the leaders of the old skool over at THE NINTENDO OLD SKOOL (R.I.P.), those two Mexicans who bought those LASER TAG guns from me for $20.00 at that yard sale, Afrika Islam, Afrika Bambaata, Ice T & The Rhyme Syndicate, fat people, Coffin Dan and his exploding bowels, "Where's Our Fucking Tape, Asshole" Todd Sheets at EXTREME ENTERTAINMENT, Ghoul65 from the pits of AOHELL, NASA, Her Esteemed Highness "The Executioness" & her loyal slave DUCK, The original Dimensional Shambler Donovan K. Loucks and all his eldritch host at The H.P. Lovecraft Archive, the man they call Sam, the Son of Sam, Adolfo Geekcore, Uncle Tom Tousignant, XO Man-o-Shit, The Honorable Judge Reinhold, "Heaven's Little Bastard" John Chang, Cucumber Alpha of E. 42nd Street, EGM, DaGyrm, DaGynolotremin, Jurassic 5, Monestat 7, our limey bastard mates from across the Pond, Contest #1 Winner: GODEN, Texas Chainsaw Maniac Randall Keith Milholland, Chris "Hold The" Mayo and his clockwork Bitch Batallion, RJ Goodtimes and his Boba Fett Bong, Screamie at the Geocities shithole THE HORROR NEWS, Per Lundberg, V.I.P. (very important pimp) Cory Clawson, Andrew Kaplan & His Fat Man Tits, Timmy, Angela at Sleepaway Camp, Debaser, Twisted Sister Rossetta, Unleaded or Regulus, SKAface Pappy-O Nash, Mark A. Martinez & his fat fucking fajita duplex, watchdog Zmaturin who never lets them see you sweat, Abobo, Green Abobo, everyone from Malta & Luxembourg, Norman C. England and all the tractor pulling troglets over at THE ZOMBIE FARM, Dante Tomaselli, cocaine, our wack cock slave Isabelle P., everyone who entered one of our damn contests and thought they could fucking win (HA HA! Joke's on you, bitches!), La Parka 4 Ever, Jason & His Webpage That Sucks, Isaac Hellstrom and his Pit Fiend with the glass titty, CTA & the 150 lbs Funk Fest, girls who put out on the first date, Poison Pie, Black Ranger, Luigi the Italian Ass Master, Dana Plato (R.I.P.) and her movie "DIFFERENT STROKES", Potato Cakes & Horsey Sauce, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, Constantine & his "Special Someone", Ric Flair, Old Dirty Bastard Stole My Truck, DR. DOOOM, Rocket Jumps, La Brujera, Kyle "Toss My What?" Bower, Jumping Jack Maxfield, Asalamm Aleenkum to Brother, JJHair for sending us DEATH SPA, JJFad for SUPERSONIC, the ass kicking Wu Tang Master the bitches call ILL TIGER, Adri-N Query, that twisted Philippino Fuck Donald Jalbuna, Le Sick Paul, our favorite limey bastard Dave Sharkface, old-skool superpimp This Isntmyname, the mighty DEATHZAURUS (who needs to invest in a spellchecker), ultra-violent bloodhog The Kryptkeeper, the mysterious Velvet Underground, the mysterious Digital Underground, Our Light Skinned Bitch Luke Burnz, fellow shitologist Liz Kingsley, Mr. Muff Diver Pussy Supreme, Jason (Ching) Chang a.k.a. WICKED AL and his excellent ghetto marketing scheme, our solar-powered bitch Electro Sun Dog, the unbelievable Crabshack over at SILVER SUICIDE whose Stinky Tire story made MR. PAUL wet his pants, renegade Rob and the Planeteers, L2, Darkness, that fucked up AC 0 motherfucker MARG, Whispering Whispers, Anton Kanis for being a picky little bitch, Benny for being a big fat picky bitch, Killer Kwang, Stephen "PBR" Whittier, Resumania XIV, Columbus Georgia You Can Suck My Dick, G Darius, Arch Damon Foster and his incredible kung fu prowess, Children's Petting Zooie, Insanity Comix, Mvalas McPhallus, Enigmatic Pandemonium and his gang of redneck ghostbusters, the man who shot Tupac Shakur (EAST SIIIIIDE!), the mighty Nailhead (no relation to Dick), Thomas "Dumboguy" Tousignant, Roland Castle you can suck my cock, Suan-Yu Lin (a.k.a. David), Ricardo "HEADCRUSHER" Islas, the wise & venerable value-pimp Donfucious, the craft-matic adjustable pimp Ivan Suftin, NINailer, that wack bitch over at MooDude Productions, Ryan's Family Steakhouse, Ivan Stuffin McMuffin, "Jungle" Jim Joung, General Tsu, General Tsu's Chicken, some homeless guy named James Radcliff, Larry Samaniego and his goddamned NOTC SECRET ENDING, DJ Podolski, 8 Track Gorilla, Intercontinental Champion MR. CLARK, "DJ Rotten Crotch" Robert Krause, our Blue-Haired Servotron Cyber Slut Rachel and all her fellow inmates at the Rhode Island Mental Hospital and all of the twisted Kabuki Retards out there who I have undoubtedly forgotten to mention but without their help could not have pulled off such a shithouse carnival of filth. To all of my NOTC bitches out there who check up on our page frequently (particularly that mysterious freak from a University in Washington who checks on us just about every damn day) I would like to give an extra special Dinty Moore Beef Stew powered shout out. Finally, Doctor Octagon would like to thank YOU for sitting down and squinting your goddamned eyes for 5 minutes in an effort to read all of this bullshit. The fact that you've read this far can only mean one of two things: A) You are at work or B) You suck. It is not outside the realm of possibility that both statements apply equally to you. Hell is for heroes: now shut up and DIE.


Potato Cakes From Arby's, Kenny Roger's Roasters, and Kenny Rogers.


Your Sister


You To WIpe Your Ass